


Your life won’t feel like a war forever

by lydiamxrtin



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Alex Manes, Hurt/Comfort, Jesse Manes Being an Asshole, Kidnapping, M/M, Malex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamxrtin/pseuds/lydiamxrtin
Summary: Canon divergence following 2x05, (ignoring everything in 2x06)With Alex taken right from under Michael, with him seemingly unable to do anything to get him back. Will this cause Michael to confront feelings he had all but pushed aside, or has Michael lost Alex forever.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 40
Kudos: 191





	1. Too much, yet not enough happened between us.

**Author's Note:**

> So as mentioned this is a canon divergence from 2x05, essentially I'm just going to ignore 2x06 in relation to what happened to Alex/Michael. 
> 
> in essence, Max has woken up from his coma, Maria and Michael never got back together after their fight and are now friends and Forrest and Alex never got together.

The bunker was quiet, the only sound was the quick typing of Alex on the computer, the giant screens covered in different folders and codes. On the table behind sat Michael, flicking through numerous files, several stacks of files were around him, still untouched. Michael had turned up around mid-day to look for the news articles from around the time his mom was in Roswell. Alex had already been there when he turned up, Michael had no idea what time he'd gotten there or what time it was now, the lack of windows and clocks in the bunker shrouding the real-time.

Michael finished reading the file in his hand, closing it and tossing it onto the 'done' pile. The pile was growing, spilling over onto the table. Michael turned to look at the 'still to read' collections, Michael let out a massive sigh, leaning back on his chair. He looked over at Alex, who was still focused on the screens, half of them covered in codes and encryptions.

After Alex had left Michael at the air streamer that night, he seemed detached, more so than usual. He stayed away from the Wild Pony, the crash down, he didn't see him around town. They hadn't spoken for a few days; Michael wasn't sure what to say to Alex. Whether to yell at him, ask why he hadn't given the piece over, but he didn't. If Michael was honest, he was still pissed that Alex had kept that piece from him, lied to him for months, but then he thinks about Alex's face that night when he told him, and thinks about him saying he didn't want him to leave and some of that anger is replaced with something else. He spent his time fixing his ship and looking for any information he could about his mom. Then a few days ago out of the blue Alex had texted, saying he left some files at the bunker for Michael to look at, about his mom, maybe nothing but could be something. Michael had turned up to find an empty shelter and some files, the files he was currently looking at now. They had crossed paths the other day when Michael had come back to continue looking through the records. Michael had asked Alex what he'd been working on, he’d said some files from Caulfield, trying to decode them but that was all Michael knew, Alex hadn't found anything and if he had he'd not told Michael.

"So, found any evidence of more Manes torture prisons," Michael asked, trying to be as light-hearted as he could. However, the words stung Alex, making him temporarily stop typing, the things he saw at Caulfield still too raw in his mind, the mention of his family name in line with torture prison always cut Alex in a way he couldn't quite describe. Alex had gotten so in his own mind that he didn't even realize he hadn't answered, his eyes still focused on the screen. Alex could hear Michael stand up in his chair and start to walk up behind him.

Finally, Alex pulled his eyes away from the screen, stopping his typing, swivelled in his chair to face Michael. "I've seen references that seem to indicate that Caulfield has been referred to as location 'Alpha' and I've found mentions of people travelling to 'Location Beta' and 'Gamma', so that could indicate that they are similar projects ". Alex wasn't sure if Michaels's face was relieved or disappointed, two more locations meant more of a chance of finding someone who can tell them about Nora, or even finding more of the Aliens but it also means two more sites that could possibly be torturing innocent people. "What about you, anything about what your mom did for the year?". Alex asked.

Michael perched on the side of the desk, shaking his head and looking down on the floor. "Not yet, as far I can tell Flint took care of everyone that knew her, he made sure he fixed his mistake" The hostility in his voice was apparent. Michael's eyes seemed to glaze over with something, and Alex could guess what it was, it was the same memory his mind had been playing over the last few weeks; the siren, his mother, the screaming and finally the explosion. The pair hadn't spoken much about Flints action that day on the crash, choosing to do their usual routine of ignoring things but things weren't the same. Alex could tell that Michael was holding resentment it wasn't obvious, he didn't yell or push him away, but there were small hints; the way he couldn't look at Alex for too long, the way he avoided being near him.

Alex swivelled back in his chair to face the screens, he sighed. "Listen, why don't you see Max or something I can finish up here" He tried to sound casual, talking to him like friends do, but it came off rigid and awkward.

Michael pushed himself off the desk, walking back to the large table in the centre of the room. "Nah its fine, I've nearly finished with this stack anyway" Michael looked at his stack, he couldn't even count how many folders were left, maybe he wasn't nearly finished. 

Alex sighed from his chair. "Look we've been here for…" Michael looked around to see that Alex had turned around in his chair again, facing Michael and checking his watch, "…Nearly 10 hours now, get some rest."

Michael gave a small playful frown, "You trying to get me to leave Manes?" As Michael looked at Alex, he noticed something, his shoulders were tense, and his hands were intertwined in his lap, fidgeting. Michael could have sworn he looked anxious.

“Don’t you have a nightly appointment with a bottle of Jack at the Wild Pony” Alex stabbed, a cheap shot and he knew it. He didn’t look up to see Michael’s face, he just turned around in his chair to face the screens. He could feel the ever-growing pit of guilt in his stomach increasing, rising up in his stomach to his chest.

Michael bit the inside of his cheek, giving a cold laugh, Alex couldn’t even look at him when he stabbed at Michael. Michael stepped closer to Alex’s chair then stopped, taking a step back. "Hmm well, I'm sure I can rearrange the appointment to find out how your family systematically managed to murder mine” Michael had pulled the knife out of himself and shoved it right back into him.

The pit of guilt Alex felt shot up to his throat, almost causing him to choke, he deserved that and somehow knowing that was more painful than the words. “Get some rest Guerin, this is a lot to deal with” Was all Alex could offer, his voice less steady than before.

“And what about you?” Michael didn’t know why he was fighting this so much, why he didn’t just leave.

“I’m used to it” Alex resorted.

Michael nodded; his voice full of sarcasm. "Oh, right because when you were in the air force, you spent your days researching secret Alien prisons" It was meant to be humorous, but Alex's face didn't change, stern and unwavering. 

"No, but I spent my time trying to find information I shouldn't be looking for" Michael realized that he didn't know much about Alex's time in the air force, he knew some of the places he's been and that he'd got injured, but he didn't know how he never thought to ask. Even though the pair had known each other for years, it just never seemed right to ask, the timing was never good between them. "Getting answers is going to take time" There was a pause in the air, Michael looked at Alex, something wasn't right, he was…off. Alex seemed to sense Michaels staring and looked away down at his hands. "We can clear our heads and…" Another pause, Alex kept his eyes in his lap as he spoke. "…Start again tomorrow" Michael couldn't place what was in Alex's voice, there was a hint of something.

Michael looked at the massive pile of paper in front of him. He'd spent the day looking at every piece of information from that time, newspaper articles, police reports, people who were alive at the time his mom was in town and still are now, anything that could give him something. They had found nothing, no mention of her or anything else "Alright" Michael sighed, maybe he did need a break, he could check on Max and see how he was doing. Since he'd come back, he'd been struggling, his powers were returning but slowly and it was clearly frustrating him, he thought about going to the Wild Pony. After the whole 'I'm an alien' revelation between him and Maria, things had gotten pretty rough. After Michael had finally gotten Maria to talk to him, they decided that they were better off friends. It was still strained at times, Michael tried to keep Maria out of the alien business as much as he could, but it wasn't that possible, she wanted to help, wanted to be involved and he couldn't blame her, she'd been out of the loop for so long now she was in it she didn't want to leave.

Michael grabbed his black hat off the table and placed it on his head. He grabbed his jacket off the chair and shrugged it on. "You comin?" Michael asked when he noticed that Alex hadn't moved from the chair.

Alex didn't turn in his chair, his face looking over the screens. "I've got to finish this decryption" Michael looked up at the screen to see a series of numbers and letters, some form of coding. "Don't wait for me" Alex continued, typing away on the keyboard.

Michael gave a small huff, Alex always had to be difficult, a while ago he insisted on being friends and now, he was talking to him like he was one of his soldiers, ordering him around. "Whatever you say Captain Manes" Michael bit back, emphasizing the words 'captain Manes' to drive home his point. This what their relationship was now, small periods of calm and fights and jabs then calm again, it had become exhausting, and If Michael was honest, he thought they had gotten past that a while ago. Michael gave another look towards Alex, who was still watching the screen and left, letting the door slam behind him.

As Alex heard the door slam behind him, he finally stopped typing for a moment, his hands coming up to rub his face. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before turning around to look at the empty room, had he'd finally managed to get Michael Guerin to look away? 

Michael stepped out into the cold frigid air, taking in a large breath. He didn't know why Alex's attitude grated him so much, Alex had hidden that piece from Michael and was now acting like the one who had been wronged. The constant push and pull between them had done so much damage to their relationship, when they were at the Long farm, investigating the other Aliens things felt…Michael didn’t want to use the word normal because he didn’t even know what that was anymore, comfortable was a better choice. After the discovery of what Flint did and the piece that comfortableness had been ripped away. Michael shook his head and headed towards the truck, getting in. He paused for a moment and looked at the bunker, Alex hadn’t left yet, he really was just trying to get Michael to leave. Michael gave a huff, shaking his head, how stupid of him to have believed that Alex had stopped being the guy that walked away. He shoved his keys in the ignition and backed out of the drive. Michael was so distracted by his annoyance he didn't even notice the unknown black SUV lurking just off in the corner, a shadowy figure inside watching as the truck disappeared into the night.


	2. Maybe it'll always be the wrong time for us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael decides to talk to Alex but maybe he's too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Hope to have the next one up soon!
> 
> -AJ

Michael was awoken by the sun cascading into the streamer, the dust in the air coming into focus. Michael blinked as he rolled to the side of his bed, his legs dangling over. He pushed himself off the bed and grabbed a shirt and pair of jeans, grabbing his black hat as he exited the streamer. Michael pottered around the yard for a while, fixing some parts and doing some work. He thought about going to the bunker and doing some work, but if he was honest he didn't want to deal with Alex right now, it was just too draining. In the end, he decided to go to the Wild Pony. Michael walked in to see the regular locals scattered around, as he walked towards the bar Maria spotted him, an earnest smile appeared on her face, she reached under the bar and put a glass on the bar filling it up with a dark liquid.

"You know you have to pay for these, now, right?" She joked that signature smile on her face.

"I don't get a cosmic being discount" Michael playfully whispered.

Maria shook her head, things between them were finally starting to feel like before. Michael wished it was that easy with everyone, that things could just go back to how they were. Maybe some would always be linked to the past and would be stuck there. Michael took a sip of his drink, "So, what's eating at you, Guerin?" Michael looked up to see Maria leaning on the bar, looking at him. "You've got that brooding look on your face, more so than usual."

Michael gave a small laugh. "You're the psychic Deluca, you tell me."

Maria looked at him for a moment, her head tilted to the side. Michael wondered what Maria could see if she knew what was wrong with him if he was honest, he didn't even know himself. Max was back and doing well, there was no looming threat, but something was eating at him, pulling him down. "How's Max doing?" Maria asked.

Michael nodded, taking another sip of his drink. "Getting stronger. Liz Is taking care of him" Max was up and about, trying to be a hero and doing too much but the siblings and Liz were making sure he didn't do anything stupid. "He'll be back to hero status soon enough."

"That's good" Maria gave a sympathetic smile "And your work with Alex?"

Michael grabbed the glass off the table, finishing his drink off, leaning back from Maria. "Fine"

Maria leaned back and put her hands on her hips. "So that's what you're brooding about" Michael scoffed at the claim, pushing to the glass back towards Maria. "You got all tense when I asked about that and finished your entire drink" Maria grabbed the empty glass and filled it back up, giving it to Michael, while leaning on the bar "Don't need to be a psychic to see that" Michael took a sip of his drink, shaking his head. Michael looked up to see that warm smile on Maria's face. "You can tell me."

Michael took a sip from his drink again and leaned back. "It's nothing."

"Which means it something" Maria retorted; Michael fell silent. "Alex has been pretty distant this week, I keep trying to call and meet up, but he's always busy working."

"Yeah, he's been a real delight to work with this week" Michael mocked.

Maria leaned her arms on the bar, her hair falling into her shoulders. "He's been pretty…" Maria paused for a moment, biting her lip "I don't know happy lately, more like the old Alex", Maria leaned closer on the bar, a serious look on her face. "I think somethings wrong."

Michael shook his head "It's just Alex being Alex, Deluca, he'll get over it" Maria gave Michael a disapproving look, her eyebrow raised.

"Alex being Alex?!" Maria exclaimed back, her arms crossed over her chest, she shook her head "I think something happened" Michael went to interrupt when Maria continued "Something bad."

Michael looked up at the ceiling, then back at the disapproving Maria, there was always something bad happening. "You know how he gets okay, one day he's there and one guy and the next he's..." Michael trailed off, not sure where he was going with that thought "...He's just..." Michael waved his hand and leaned back on the stool.

The scowl on Maria's face lessened a bit, she leaned closer on the bar about to say something when someone caught her eye. "Kyle hey" Great, Michael thought, just what he needed, Kyle Valenti.

Kyle came to stand by Michael at the bar.

"Bit early for a drink, isn't it Valenti?" Michael jabbed, finishing off his own drink.

Kyle scowled at Michael, and for a moment, Michael felt a little better. "I was just wondering if Alex was here?"

Maria took Michaels empty glass and put it under the table; no more free drinks, Michael had defiantly pissed her off. "No, I uh haven't heard from him today, why?"

Kyle huffed, his arms leaning on the bar. "I was meant to meet him at his house, but he didn't answer the door, and his car wasn't there, I went to the bunker, and his car was there, but I couldn't get in."

Michael spun around in his chair to look at Kyle, "Yeah we changed the code on the door" Michael leaned closer to Kyle, a mocking smile on his face. "Keep unwanted people out."

Kyle ignored him, turning to Maria. "Well I tried to call, but I couldn't get through"

"He probably turned it off," Michael said, whenever they worked Alex would typically turn his phone off and put it away in his bag so he could concentrate.

"Maybe you don't think he's kinda been distant lately?" Michael didn't have to look to Maria to see she had her 'I told you' look on her face, he could feel it boring into his eyes. "Look can you just tell me the code so I can get in and talk to him?" Kyle asked.

Michael looked over at Maria who still had that stern look on her face which said she wasn't done talking. "I've gotta do some work there, I'll get him to call you when I'm in" Michael slipped off the stool and went to leave when Maria spoke up.

"Or Kyle can just go with you" There was a playful smile on her face, her hands crossed over her chest again.

"Yeah, I'll just tag along with you" Kyle spoke, starting to head towards the door.

Michael looked over at Maria, who was still smiling. "Thanks, Deluca" He jested.

"Any time Guerin" teased Maria, Michael went to turn to leave when Maria reached over and grabbed his arm. "Talk to him, I'm worried" Michael could sense the gravity of her request, he nodded before following Kyle out the door.

Michael and Kyle drove to the bunker in silences, Michael had turned the radio on loud so Kyle would know that he wasn't interested in listening to him talk. They pulled up outside the bunker and Michael saw Alex's car, still sitting in the exact place it was last night, had Alex stayed all night? Both men got out of the car and walked towards the door, Michael put in the new code, a series of numbers and letters that Alex had come up with. They walked down the long hallway towards the main room.

"You tell me to leave, get rest then stay all night, you really were trying to get rid of me Manes" Michael called out, taunting Alex. He looked over the Kyle who was shaking his head, clearly already bored of Michael. Michael pushed open the main door.

The paperwork that was on the table was scattered across the floor, files open and discarded. The chairs were turned over, pushed aside.

"What the hell happened here?!" Kyle called, quickly walking into the room and looking around. Michael slowly walked in and looked around. The desk where Alex had been sat at look untouched, the screens were lit up, and the chair was pulled back like someone had been sat there looking for something. "I'm guessing this wasn't like this when you left?" Michael stepped further into the room trying to make sense of the mess, someone was clearly looking for something, was that the same code that was on the screen last night? Michael scanned the room, looking for someone. "Michael?!" Kyle called.

"Of course, it wasn't" Was all Michael offered, trying to make sense of the scene.

He knelt down and started picking up files, it was the ones he was looking at earlier; clearly, they hadn't found what they wanted. "How the hell could of someone got in? You and Alex are the only ones that know the code, right?" That was true, Alex had used some software to come up with a code and had upgraded the system, there was no way someone could hack it, especially in under 24hrs. "Unless Alex let them in-"

"He wouldn't do that" Michael interrupted.

"Maybe he didn't have a choice?" The weight of what Kyle had said settled into the air, what would have had to happen for Alex to let someone in. "We need to go to his house" Was all Kyle said before turning around and leaving, Michael followed without saying a word.

The car ride to Alex's house had a much different tone than the one to the bunker, Michael wasn't sure that he took his foot off the gas once the whole time. The car came to an abrupt stop outside Alex's. Both men jumped and rushed towards the door.

"Alex? Alex!" Kyle called while wildly knocking. Michael pushed him out of the way and unlocked the door with just a look, quickly heading inside.

Michael felt his breath catch in his throat, at the end of the hallway, Michael could already see the mess, chairs overturned and things everywhere. Michael wasn't sure if he wanted to find Alex at the end of the hall, or not; he didn't know which situation was worse. Michael and Kyle ran down the hallway. Michael could hear Kyle calling Alex's name, but it sounded distant, Michaels mind was rattling with numerous thoughts, each one worse than the other. Kyle came back from searching the other rooms.

"Shit" Kyle muttered. "He's not here" He breathed. "Maybe he's at the cabin?"

"His car is here, how would he get there?" Michael said, still looking at the mess around him. Draws were pulled out and cupboards open, someone was definitely looking for something, and they think Alex has it. Michael felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he made no move to answer it, it was probably Max or Isobel.

"What should we do?" Kyle asks, looking at Michael.

Michael just started, what were they going to do? His phone went off again, he quickly pulled it out of his pocket about to turn it off when he froze.

**Alex Manes is calling.**

"It's Alex" Michael breathed before Kyle could say anything Michael put the phone on speaker, holding it close to his face. "Where the hell are you what happened?" He bellowed.

There was no reply, Kyle stepped closer to the phone "Alex?"

There was another pause, Michael was about to yell at Alex again when a voice finally spoke. "Sorry gentlemen, but you're talking with me" The voice cut through the air, every noise that could be heard fell silent.

"Jesse" Was all Kyle could manage; his face twisted in anger.

"I am sorry about the mess, but it was the only choice really, Alex wasn't particularly helpful" Jesse sounded calm, icy, almost like he was enjoying this.

Michael clenched the phone tighter, pulling it closer to his face to make his voice louder. "I swear if you have done anything-"

"I don't think you are in the position to threaten me Mr Guerin" Jesse cut him off, matching Michaels volume. "Now, it's come to my attention that over the last few weeks that my son has had possession of some information he should not, specifically a document from Caulfield, Document No. 126 ".Michael felt his stomach twist at the mention of Jesse calling Alex his son, that biologically maybe be true. Still, Jesse was no father to Alex. "Now I politely asked Alex to hand that file over, but he refused, and my men were unable to locate it, so now I'm asking you to locate it."

Kyle gave a bitter laugh "And why the hell would we do that."

As soon as he said it, Michael knew what was coming. "Because you care about Alex, and if you want him returned you will do what I say" Kyle looked over at Michael, his chest was breathing heavy, and it was clear that every part of him hated this. "I want that file returned to me, and I'll know If you keep copies, in 48hrs, if not then…" Jesse took in a large breath, seemingly thinking over his words carefully. "Well, you've seen what can happen when my orders are not obeyed, Guerin." With that, the phone clicked off.

"What does that mean?" Kyle asked. Michael was unable to speak; he was still looking down at the phone. It has been 10 years since that day and so much had happened since then. So much horror, but with those simple words, Michael was pulled right back to that shed; the fear in Alex's eyes, the hatred in his fathers'. Max had healed Michael's hand, but, at this moment, it hurt like the day it had happened. "Michael, what the hell does that mean!" Michael finally looked up at Kyle, he didn't say anything but the look on his face must have said it all. Kyle took a few steps back, his hands coming up to run down his face. Michael put the phone down on the table, he reached up and ran his hands through his hair, tugging the ends. Michael and Kyle stood in the trashed room in silence, both of them trying to process what just happened.

How the hell were they going to find Alex, how long had it taken them to find Caulfield and now they had 48hrs until…Michael couldn't even think about what Jesse would do if he didn't get the files. He wouldn't kill Alex, he needed the leverage, but somehow that thought wasn't a comforting one, because if Jesse couldn't kill Alex, he'd sure as hell make him wish he was could.


	3. If False hope is the only thing keeping you alive you'll be dead by dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group tries to locate clues as to Alex's whereabouts, Michael dwells on the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the first two chapters! This chapter is a pretty long one so hope you enjoy!
> 
> -AJ

Michael sat perched on the side of the sofa, his body not being able to commit fully to relaxing into the couch. Kyle stood on the other side of the room; his arms crossed over his chest, his mind not in the room but somewhere else, Michael guessed the same place as his. There was noise by the front door; the pair rushed up.

"Michael?" Max called, walking into the house. Michael looked down the hallway to see Max and Isobel walking into the house. The pair stopped once they got into the main living room, looking around.

"What the hell?" Isobel spoke. She grabbed some of the broken glass that was on the table, examining it.

Max walked over to Michael, hushing his voice a bit "I told Liz and Maria to wait outside, I-I wasn't sure what I'd find" Michael hadn't told Max much over the phone, just that something had happened to Alex and that he needed to get to his house. Michael gave a small nod, Max patted his shoulder and turned towards the door to get the girls.

"Was someone looking for something?" Isobel spoke up again, now looking through some paperwork that was on the floor.

Before Michael could speak, Liz hurried into the room, her hair flying behind her as she walked up to Michael, Maria close behind her. "What happened...is Alex, okay?!" She breathed. Michael didn't know what to say, he wanted to tell her he was and that everything would be okay, but he didn't know, the uncertainty eating at his chest making it hard to breath steady.

Michael heard Kyle step closer "Jesse Manes has him" Hearing Kyle repeat it caused Michael to clenched his hand, part of him had hoped this was some sick twisted dream, or that Jesse was trying to fuck with him and Alex would walk through the door.

"What? Why!" Maria asked, the loathing for Jesse Manes clear and present.

"Alex has some files from Caulfield, Jesse wants them back, we've got 48hrs" Kyle explained. For once Michael was glad that Valenti was there, unsure if he would have been able to explain what had happened over the phone, he was still trying to comprehend it himself.

"And if we don't?" Isobel asked, her arms crossed her chest.

This time Kyle didn't reply, Michael looked over to him. Kyle's head was hanging, looking at the floor. Michael took a breath, straighten his body. "Something bad" Was all Michael could offer, he didn't want to think more about what Jesse had said, involuntarily Michael rubbed his once injured hand. Michael looked up at Max, in front of him was stood Liz who was still taking everything in, she shook her head in disbelief. Max reached out and placed his hands on her shoulder; she spun around to look at him.

"Well get him back" Max reassured, pulling her into a hug, he rested his head onto of hers, locking eyes with Michael, "I promise." It was clear Max was no longer just talking to Liz, Michael looked away, not wanting to hear a promise he wasn't sure Max could keep.

"So we need to hand over the file where is it?" Maria asked.

Isobel stepped forward, holding her hand up. "Wait shouldn't we know what's in this file before we just hand it over?"

Maria sharply turned towards Isobel. "Alex's life is one the line-"

"-He's not going to kill Alex, he wouldn't be so stupid to kill his only leverage," Isobel replied, waving her hand to the side.

"He's not just leverage he's Alex, he's our friend!" Liz rushed, standing next to Maria.

Izzy rolled her eye, she looked at Michael for support, and her face softened slightly, she took a deep breath. "I'm not saying we don't hand over the file, I'm saying we work out why he wants it." Isobel looked around the room for confirmation.

"She's right" Max spoke. "We need to know why he wants it." Isobel nodded, and the pair looked over at Michael.

He sighed. "It's on the computer back at the bunker, Alex was decrypting it." Liz turned on her heels and headed out the door, Maria behind her. Kyle took another look at the room before heading out the door as well.

"I know you don't want to hear this, Michael" Isobel spoke, catching his arm softly as he walked past. "But whatever is on that file could-"

Max stepped closer to the siblings, his voice hushed so the others couldn't hear it outside. "-We don't know what's on the file yet okay, let's just see." Michael looked between his sister and brother. He released his hand and headed towards the door. If Michael was honest he didn't care what was on that file, all he knew is right now that file was the only thing that was keeping them from getting Alex back, all it was right now was a barrier.

Once the gang arrived at the bunker, they filled into the trashed room. Liz and Maria, pause looking around at the mess.

"How did they even get in here?" Liz asked.

"Alex must of let them in," Kyle replied.

The thought of that still unsettled Michael. What must have been said or done to make him open that door and let them in, or maybe he was ambushed when he walked out. Michael tried to push those questions away, knowing he was not going to get the answers to them now, the mysteries just taking up valuable space in his mind. Michael walked up to the computers at the top, the screen lit up on the lock screen. Michael sat down and pulled the keyboard towards him. "He said it was file...umm" Kyle spoke, walking up to the desk.

"Document No. 126" Michael finished, he'd had that number imprinted on his mind since he heard it.

"And you don't know what was in the file?" Max asked the whole group was standing on the platform where the computers were.

Michael started typing the password into the keyboard, turning around to reply to Max. "All I know is that it was something to do with Caulfield." He stoically replied.

"He didn't tell you anything else? Haven't you guys been the hardy boys of Caulfield?" Isobel returned. Michael wasn't sure why but a pang of guilt made its way through his chest, why didn't he know more about what Alex was looking into?

Michael hit enter on the keys, a noise coming from the computer. Michael typed the password again, the sound repeating itself. "What's wrong," Maria asked, her hand resting on the back of the chair.

"Nothing I...I must have typed the password wrong." Michael told himself, he took a breath and typed the code again, overseeing each key to ensure it was right. When the sound occurred back, a sinking feeling overcame Michael. "I can't get in." He spoke.

"What?" Kyle replied, coming to stand next to Michael.

"The password, it's changed," Michael said, standing up from the chair, needing some space from the computer.

As he walked away from the screen, Liz turned around and followed him. "What? How? I thought you and Alex were the only ones that had access to this?"

"We are," Michael replied harshly.

"Then how would of it got changed?" Kyle asked.

Michael gripped the railing in front of him, why did they keep asking questions that he didn't have the answer to. Micheal looked up at the room, it suddenly seemed smaller now, like the ceiling had caved in and the walls had been crushed together. Michael was so focused on the room he hadn't noticed that the railing he was gripping had begun to shake a little.

"What so Alex changed it without telling Michael what it was?" Isobel asked, confusion evident in her voice. "They're meant to be working together why would he do that?" She finished.

Why would he do that, Michael kept asking the question again and again. He knew things had been rough between the pair but for Alex to shut him out like that, the change the password. He tried to think back to the last time he used the computer. Two days ago. That was it. Why would Alex change the code after that, by doing that Alex might have doomed himself and not even realised it? A scary thought entered Michaels mind. He walked down the stairs towards the main table, which was still shoved to the side, he could hear people talking behind him, next to the wall were some lockers, Michael and Alex would keep files in them sometimes when they weren't using them. Michael noticed that they were all open, completely empty. Michael then looked around to the records on the floor, he walked over and started picking them up, looking at them.

"Michael, what are you doing?" Kyle asked.

Michael stood up, running his hand through his head. "Alex changed the password." He said.

Isobel gave a frustrated sigh "Yeah, we know that-"

Michael threw the piece of paper he had in his hand to the floor. He stepped towards the group, gesturing to empty lockers behind him. "He got rid off any files we kept here, any record of what we've been looking at or what we'd been doing," Michael shouted.

"Why would he do that he didn't know Jesse was coming?" Maria spoke from behind.

An uncomfortable silence came over the bunker as everyone was reaching the same sickening conclusion Michael had come to "Or maybe he did." Max softly spoke.

"Wait, so you're saying that Alex knew that Jesse was coming for the file?" Maria asked, "Why wouldn't he say anything?" Liz followed up.

Michael was still running the scenario over in his head, how would of Alex known that Jesse was coming for him? Intuition maybe? Maybe something more? "Because he was trying to protect everyone" Kyle replied, Michael looked up to see Kyle stood on the top of the stairs by the screens, his arms crossed tightly across his chest, his face was bitter, he shook his head "Its what he does." He said, quieter this time. Michael felt his stomach roll, it was true, Alex was such a martyr, but he thought there were limits, though he wouldn't actually hand himself over to his abusive father.

Liz reached up and rubbed her forehead, pushing her hair out of her face, she pulled her jacket tighter around her "So we have no way of getting that file? there's no paper copy?" Michael could hear the desperation in her voice.

Michael gave a scoff "Alex wouldn't keep paper copies." He knew that Liz just wanted some hope, but it was false hope, it was useless.

Liz stepped forward, motioning to all the files on the floor, placing her hand on her hip. "Okay well maybe there's notes or something, something that could tell us where Jesse took him"

Michael gave a sarcastic laugh, bitter and dry "Oh you mean like a document that says 'Jesses manes secret torture locations'" Michael remembered the people at Caulfield, the pain in their eyes, the thought of Alex having to go through that. "Yeah, yeah I'm pretty sure I've seen it lying around his house, right next to the post-it note with the password to the secret military computer, I think it's stuck on the fridge." The sarcasm dripped from Michael, he turned away from the group, shaking his head before perching on the edge of the table.

"She's just trying to help!" Kyle bit back, coming down the stairs towards Michael.

Max held his arm out to stop Kyle reaching Michael, the tension in the room was starting to reach breaking point, the small room feeling heavy. "Look we've got what, 47 hours okay? And we can't get into the computer, so we've got to do something alright" Max said, trying to rally the group around, classic hero Max.

Liz stepped forward to Michael, clearly trying to plea with him "Why don't we check the house and here for any evidence."

"The cabin as well, there might be something there" Kyle spoke.

Michael pushed himself off the table, throwing his arms out to the side. "This is pointless were not going to find anything there, the only place that holds information is that computer." Michael pointed towards the screens, letting his arms fall harshly to the side.

Max walked towards Michael before anyone could say anything "Michael, you come with me to the house" Michael scoffed and turned away from his bother, was no one listening to him? This whole thing was pointless. If Alex wanted to hide the information, there's no way any of them would find it.

"I'll look at the cabin," Kyle spoke.

"Okay, Maria go with him, and Liz and Isobel look here." Max continued.

"What are we looking for exactly?" Izzy asked, looking around the room.

"Anything about Caulfield, passwords, just anything we think that could be useful." Michael went to say something when Max walked over to him, standing close.

"Let's go," He said, giving his brother a stern look. "Everyone meet back here in two hours?" The group nodded, except for Michael, who shook his head. Michael, Max, Kyle and Maria all left the bunker, leaving Liz and Isobel in the shelter. Michael and Maz climbed into Max's truck, heading towards Alex's house.

The drive to Alex's house was quiet, Michael spent the time staring out the window thinking over everything that had happened. The brothers pulled into the drive, entering the trashed house. Michael and Max stood in the living room, look around. "This is pointless," Michael said.

"Well, it's our only choice." Max knelt down and started picking paper up from the floor and placing it on the table. "Unless you know another way to find out where Alex is being held." He sighed, his back to Michael.

Michael scoffed "You seriously think we're going to find a document that says where Alex is?" Max turned around to face Michael with a displeased face "or a little note with the password on it-"

"I don't know Michael!" Max exploded "I'm just trying to save Alex." Michael stared at Max, not saying anything. He looked down at the floor, he knew that Michael was trying to help, to save Alex, but it all felt too late. "I thought you wanted that too?"

Before he knew what he was doing, Michael had squared up to Max, standing dangerously close, his hands clenched at his side. He was breathing heavy, his jaw clenched. Of course, Michael wanted Alex to be safe, but what Michael wanted and what Michael got were two very different things. Michael turned on his heels and headed towards the back of the house to search.

After around an hour and a half, Michael had searched a small office that was on the left, going through all the paperwork he could find. Just like he thought it was pointless, all there was were receipts and old documents, nothing that could tell him anything about where Alex was. Then he'd checked a cupboard in the hallway, again nothing. Now he'd moved into Alex's bedroom. He paused at the doorway, a strange feeling inside him, telling this was intruding on Alex's privacy. Michael walked in, the room was a mess, everything was thrown to the side and on the floor. Michael spent some time putting things back in some sort of order, checking for documents as he went. He found some old air force documents in a nightstand but nothing that would be a password. Michael looked around the room, there was nothing. He walked over to double-check a wardrobe when he heard it, he stopped. He walked a few steps back and then forward again, the noise repeated. Michael looked down at where he was stood. The wooden slates below him looked untouched. Michael tried it one more time to narrow down the plank, after a few times he found it, there was no way Alex wouldn't of fix this. Michael knelt down and examined the floor. He pressed on the wood, it not giving anything away. Michael focused on the piece of wood, it slowly lifting up from the floor, dropping next to him. Michael carefully reached in, moving his hand around. Suddenly, Michael's hand came into contact with something, it was cold. Michael gripped it and pulled it out.

The box was small, about the size of a shoebox. It was old, made of tin or some form of metal. The outside was worn, rusted. Michael felt a small whisper of hope run through him. He reached out and unclasped the hinge, flicking it open. On top were some medals, clearly from his time at war. Alex never spoke about his time at war, Michael didn't even know he had these medal. He carefully put them on the ground next to him. Underneath them were a pile of old photos, the edges torn and worn. On top were a picture of Alex, Liz and Maria, back when they were in high school. Michael gave a small laugh, they all looked so young. Alex had his nose piercing in, signature handcuff necklace. They were stood outside the high school entrance, arms wrapped around each shoulder. Then there was another one of Alex and Liz, sat in the booth of the Crashdown, milkshakes on the table. In some ways, high school Alex looked so similar to present-day Alex; his same warm eyes, youthful grin, but then there were other ways that he looked like a different person. The way those warm eyes would sometimes glass over and go to another place, or the way that grin would last a few seconds shorter than before.

Michael turned over the finale photo. Michael felt his hand grip the picture a little tighter. He stood up and walked back towards the bed, perching on edge. The photo was of a high school Alex, stood in dark jeans, his signature doc martins on, a black and grey jumper holding his guitar. Next to him was Michael, dirted jeans and a grey t-shirt, his own dark guitar by his feet. Michael remembers when this was taken, they'd drove out to the middle of the desert with their instruments, to get away from town and everyone in it. They'd led in the sun and played songs, Alex had wanted to take a photo so they'd set the camera up but during the timer count down they'd started talking and joking, and got so wrapped up in themselves that they'd never taken another one. For a while, Michael never knew what happened to that photo, he knew Alex had it on the camera, but then things got bad between them, then it got worse. The day Alex had left, Michael had spent the night in the cells. When he'd got back into his air streamer, there was a copy of the photo that had been slipped under the door. There was only a small piece of paper attached that said 'from AM'.

"So that's where you use to disappear off to." Michael held the photo down in his lap, Max was stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He stepped into the room, in front of Michael.

Michael nodded his head, his eyes still trained on the photo. "I thought you already knew" He put the picture down next to him.

"I knew you liked each other, but I thought it was just that." Michael could hear Max walk towards him, taking a seat on the chair in front of the bed.

Michael nodded, it wasn't just that, it was so much more than that, but what exactly it was Michael didn't know. "We'd go out into the desert and uhh just play music." Michael wasn't sure what prompted him to tell Max that.

Max gave a sly smile, ducking his head slightly. "Just play music, huh?" Michael gave a small laugh back, but it only lasted a few seconds the reality of the situation never entirely leaving him. "You could of told me you know." Max quietly said, leaning forward on his knees.

"I thought about it," Michael said, and it was true, there were so many times Max would ask where Michael was going or where he'd been, and for a brief moment he thought about telling him the truth, but he never did. "But things got...complicated." Michael sighed.

There was a pause "His dad?" Max cautiously asked.

Michael felt himself tense at the mention of Jesse, it a stark reminder of the current situation. "Alex was so scared his dad would find out we still saw each other, and what he'd do..." Michael stopped his train of thought, not wanting to think about the violence Jesse Manes was capable of, especially when Alex was currently alone with him somewhere. "...I promised I wouldn't say anything." Michael could still see Alex's face that day, his hands continually fidgetting and his leg bouncing. Michael briefly looked over to the side at the photo again. "I never knew he kept it" Michael had always assumed that Alex had just given him the picture, almost like a parting gift. Michael looked back up at Max, a joyless smirk on his face. "Guess there's a lot of things I missed, huh."

"You couldn't have known this was going to happen Michael-."

"You know what I did today?" Michael interrupted, shaking his head. "I spent the morning bitching to Maria about how much of a dick Alex had been lately" Max closed his eyes and took a breath, Michael clenched his hand in his lap, before pushing himself off the bed, standing in front of his brother. "Maria tried to tell me something was wrong and that I should talk to him, but I told her it was...just 'Alex being Alex'" As Michael spoke the guilt began to expand in his chest, he played the conversation over in his head, again and again.

Max stood up as well and stepped forward, reaching out and placing a hand on Michael's shoulder, squeezing. "Well, when we find him maybe you guys can talk" Max sounded so confident and sure when he spoke like what he was saying was inevitable, but it wasn't. There were no certainties, no sure things. Michael turned away from Max kneeling down on the floor to pick up the photos and medals, putting them back in the empty box. He turned around and picked up the picture from the bed, pausing for a moment before placing it back into the box and then under the floorboard. "Did you find anything then?" Max asked.

"No" Michael sighed, standing back up.

"I found some documents that had some numbers and phrases, worth a try" Max gave Michael a reassuring smile, but it did nothing to comfort Michael, he knew whatever the password was to the computer they wouldn't find it here, or at the cabin, if Alex didn't want something to be known, it wouldn't. "We should head back to the bunker, see what everyone found"

"If they found anything," Michael clarified. He took a finale look around the bedroom and the floorboard and then followed his brother out of the house. The brothers started to walk towards the car when Max caught Michaels arm, "Look I know...hoping is scary, and there are no guarantees-"

Michael pulled his arm away from his brothers, taking a few steps back and to the side, trying to walk past his brother. "-I'm really not in the mood to hear a heroic Max speech so if we could just leave it-"

Max stepped in front of him again. "You've gotta have hope Michael, right now that's all we've got okay, and we're going to do everything to get him back okay."

Michael paused for a moment taking in what max had said. He tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. "You know I use to hope that our family would come back, that my next foster family would be okay...that Alex wouldn't leave." Michael took a step closer to Max, "Hope didn't make any of those things happen because hope...is worthless." Michael felt his throat caught on the last word. Michael finally walked away from max towards the truck, giving a finale look behind to Alex's house. His mind drifting back to the photo of Alex and Michael tucked away under the floorboard, and for a moment, Michael could feel what he felt that day; the happiness, the carelessness and most importantly the hope. Michael would give anything to feel that again, to be able to, against all olds, still be able to hold onto hope they could find Alex. The idea that hope was all they had right now, sent a sickening feeling throughout Michael. If hope is all they have, Alex's fate really was sealed.


	4. The past isn’t a place I want to put you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group struggle to find information to help them locate Alex until they receive a call from Jesse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes some POV from Alex and what's going on with him and of course some angst! Hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> -AJ

Alex was sat in a dark room, he couldn't tell what kind of place but he'd guess a basement from how quiet it was, no windows. The walls were a dark brick, the door from the looks was solid steel, a small slider for soldiers to look in; a prison maybe? He turned his head, the pain in his neck and shoulders flaring up. Having his head smashed into the floor would do that. Alex cursed, trying to get a better view. The room was small, nothing there but Alex. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there, the last thing he remembered was being at the bunker, his father trying to find the file, then darkness. Alex had been off by a few days, he thought he had longer to sort everything out, he thought it would take his father and his men longer to get him. When he opened the bunker door to leave and was greeted by the barrel of a gun, he realised he was wrong. But, it didn't matter, he'd already done the most crucial thing, hidden the file. 

Alex let his head softly lean against the chair he was seated on. It was bolted to the floor, steal cuffs wrapped around his hands and wrist. Once he'd decrypted the file from Caulfield, he knew he was in trouble. Inside it contained information about locations of secret projects, people involved and most importantly, vital information about what happened to the aliens that night of the crash and after. He knew his father would work out someone had gotten access to the file, and that it wouldn't be long before they decrypted it. He knew he was on a time limit. His father worked it out it was him quicker than he thought, he still had some loose ends he didn't manage to tie up; Michael. Alex felt an ache run through him again, and this time not because of his injury. Since waking up in the cell, Alec had played that conversation over in his mind. 

_ "Whatever you say captain manes." _

Those were the last words Alex would hear from Michael Gurien; a dig that dripped in sarcasm. Not that Alex could blame him, after what his family had done, the pain they'd caused him. At least it ended now, the cycle stopped here. Alex knew what was going to happen, they wouldn't have found the file in the bunker, or wherever else they looked, and no one else could get to it. So that left Alex. These men were clearly trained at getting to the truth, but Alex was trained at not giving it. What was going to happen next was going to be painful, he knew that. Alex could deal with pain, he'd dealt with it most of his life. He could grit and bear it, as long as he knew it stopped here, no one else would get hurt. Alex leaned looked up at the bear ceiling, closing his eyes. They were safe, that's all that matter, they could move on and be happy. That was an ending Alex could deal with, and it was the only one he was going to get.

_**Back in Roswell...** _

Michael and Max pulled up to the bunker, making their way inside. Liz and Maria were sat around the large table in the centre, it having been moved back to its correct location. The floor was clear of files and mess, the room almost felt normal, except for the intense heaving feeling in the room. Kyle was sat at the computer at the top, every so often, the incorrect noise would sound; he was trying codes. Isobel was leaning against the wall looking over some files in her hand. 

"Find anything?" she asked, closing the folder.

"Some documents, what about you guys?" Max replied.

"Some pieces of paper with dates and stuff" Liz spoke from the chair, turning to face the siblings. "We've tried all our stuff." The way she spoke showed they had gotten nowhere.

There was a noise from the computer desk. Kyle pushed himself away from the desk, walking towards the railing. He reached up and wiped his hands down his face, gripping the bar in front as he spoke. "None of my stuff worked, I tried birthdays, pet names, numbers from documents" Kyle took a steadying breath. "You guys?"

Michael walked up the stairs toward the desk, noticing all the papers across the keyboard. "Well, like I said we didn't find a sheet including all of the bunkers codes and information, but we got second best, random pieces of paper with numbers." Michael heard Kyle scoff from next to him; as he stood, Max walked passed him, taking his turn in the chair. 

Michael turned again and walked down the stairs; he looked around the bunker, at everyone who was gathered in the small room. Liz was sat in her chair, staring off into the distance, the wall apparently fascinating. Maria was next to her, he noticed the girls had their hands entwined on the table. Maria had the same glassy look as Liz did, her eyes focused on her lap. Sometimes Michael forgot how close the little trio was, how long they had known each other and what they'd gone through. He wondered if they were doing what his mind had been every chance it got; going over the last week. Thinking about every interaction they'd had with Alex and if they'd missed something. Michael noticed that Max had come back down the stairs. "Let me guess; we're still locked out" Max bowed his head, Liz stood up from her chair, sighing.

"Were running out of the time we need a new plan, anyone got any other leads?" Max spoke, trying to gather the group.

"Have we tried tracking his phone?" Maria asked.

"Yeah, something is interfering with our trace, we can't locate it" Michael wasn't even sure when Max had tried to track the phone. 

"What about cameras? Can we track the cars?" Liz suggested.

This time Kyle stepped forward, his arms crossed over his chest. "There are no cameras around here; we wouldn't even know what the car looked like to track it around town."

"So we've got nothing, great work guys." Michael mocked, perching on the edge of the table.

"Well maybe if you helped we could work something out?" Kyle spat.

Michael pushed himself off the table, walking towards Kyle. "And what would you have me do, Valenti?"

Kyle stepped forward as well; Michael could see Max tense up behind Kyle. "I don't know maybe stop being a jackass" Michael laughed, shaking his head. "Stop pretending that you don't care he's missing." Michael stopped laughing, drawing his eyes narrow.

"Kyle-" Max stepped forward to try and pull Kyle back, but the boy stepped forward again,

"-What.! He gets a free past because he's Michael?" Kyle yelled, shaking his head.

"Arguing isn't going to help Alex!" Maria ordered trying to defuse the situation.

"Maybe we need to call Jesse," Liz spoke.

"What." Both Michael and Kyle asked in unison.

Liz stepped forward, hands clasped in front of her. "We have no idea how to get into that computer, what if we call Jesse and ask if we can talk to Alex?"

"What and you just think he'll allow that?" Isobel scoffed.

Max sighed. "He does want that file?" 

"Or he'll realise that we can't get the file and Alex suddenly isn't useful to him anymore?" Michael pitched in. The pit in his stomach grew talking about Alex this way, as he was just some piece leverage. "If he knows we can't get that file he'll try and get the information from Alex" Michael's stomach churned as he spoke, trying to push the flurry of horrific images that flooded his mind.

"Well, we've got to do something?" Maria asked.

Michael sighed; they didn't understand what he was trying to say, he walked closer to the group, crossing his arms. "If Jesse Manes knows Alex is the only one that can get that file he will stop at nothing to get him to speak" Michael closed his eyes for a moment, trying to keep the images at bay. Jesse was a trained military man, and he knew how to get people to speak, but Alex was also trained and knew how to keep quiet. Michael felt his entire body tense at that thought "We can't tell him." Michael demanded.

"Now you care?" Kyle muttered under his breath.

Michael immediately turned towards Kyle. "Oh cause you've always been there for Alex, best buds since high-" "Michael clicks his fingers, tilting his head to the side while walking up to Kyle. "Oh, no wait you made his life hell" Kyle turned away for a moment, a flicker of shame on his face.

Kyle looked back at Michael, nodding his head. "At least I'm here now, trying to help instead of-"

"You know I can make things explode with my mind right, and that includes your head." Max stood in front of Michael, pushing him back.

"Look I know you guys are stressed, but this isn't helping!" Max called, giving Michael his best older brother stare. Michael pushed away from max, walking away from the group. He could hear them chatting behind him, but he blocked it out, Michael felt his phone buzz in his pocket and swore under his breath. Sanders was probably wondering where he was, Michael let it ring off. He turned around to see Michael talking to Kyle, his hand on his shoulder; he was calming him down. The phone went off again. Michael slid his hand into his pocket, pulling it up to cancel the call. The room went soundless like someone had turned the volume off. 

"Its Alex" Was all Michael could say. Whatever Max and Kyle had been saying stopped, everyone looked over at him, Michael walked over the phone, heald out in front of him. Michael clicked accept, putting it on speaker.

"I hope by now, you've had a chance to consider my offer," Jesse spoke. Michael felt his skin crawl. For a moment he thought Alex might of spoke, explaining how he escaped and was safe.

"We don't want trouble okay, we just want Alex back," Max spoke, his voice calm and collected, the complete opposite of how Michael felt.

"Ah Max Evens, I'm guessing the whole group is there." Michael could hear the amusement in Jesse's voice, his grip tightened around the phone.

Max looked around the room. "We need to know he's okay," 

"My word isn't enough?" Jesse mocked.

"We need proof of life." Asked Max, turning into Max, the police officer, not Max the alien life form.

There was silence on the other end of the phone. He could hear noises on the other end of the phone like someone moving. Once again, there was silence. 

"ARGH." The scream only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough. Unmistakably Alex. Michael walked passed the table, dropping the phone down on it. Michael turned away from the group, running his hand down his face. There was another cry from the phone, Michael clutched his fists, bringing one of them up to his lips. "There you go, alive now, how goes finding this file of mine." Michael stayed facing away from the group, unable to meet them.

"We need to speak to Alex," Max asked, his voice wavering this time.

"Excuse me?" Jesse asked, clearly not expecting this.

"We need some information from him to get the file; we just need to ask him a question?" Max asked again, having collected himself.

"Without we can't get your file." Kyle chimed in. Michael turned around to the group again. They were gathered around the table looking down at the phone. He could see Liz holding Max's hand, a strong look on her face that was only betrayed by the tears in her eyes. Next to them was Isobel and Maria, Maria clasping Liz's free arm. Kyle was closer to Michael; his face was stony, but the long Michael looked, the more the facade seemed to fade.

Finally, Jesse spoke. "You say anything out of order, and there will be consequences."

Michael slowly walked back over to the group; all gathered around the table, staring down at the small phone. "Alex?" Kyle asked. There was no reply. "Alex, we need to code to get into the computer." Kyle tried again.

No words came from the phone, then after a moment, a small voice. "You don't need the code." Alex's voice sounded muffled, breathing heavily; he was in pain and trying to hide it.

"Yeah we do, it's locked we can't get any information?" Kyle asked again, his voice more frantic this time.

"That was kinda the point." Alex restored a small laugh.

Michael couldn't believe that Alex could laugh in a situation like this. "You don't understand, if we can't access the computer, we can't find you," Liz said, leaning closer to the phone.

Alex didn't reply for a moment; Michael felt the pit in his stomach growing like someone was pulling at his lungs. "That's the point."

"Look I get you're trying to protect everyone, but this isn't the time okay?" Kyle snapped, his patients wearing thin. There was no answer. "Alex?!" Kyle called. Everyone looked at each, eyes wide with dread.

Kyle reached down and grabbed the phone, walking away from the group towards Michael. "Let us help, okay? We can find you and stop Jesse?". 

"I won't let my father hurt anyone else, the cycle stops now." Alex's voice sounded stronger this time; he was determined and meant what he was saying. Michael felt his chest ache.

Max walked up to Kyle, leaning close to the phone, "Alex, I promise I won't let your father hurt anyone okay? And that includes you, so tell us, and we can get you back safe." Max was no longer talking like a police officer, but a friend. He looked up, catching Michael's eye. 

"It's not worth the risk." Alex breathed, "My father won't get that passcode from me, that information will never get into his hands." Alex's voice had steadied, calm and slow; almost relaxed. For a moment, Michael wondered if he'd been in situations like this during war, another thought Michael didn't need now. "And if he wants to kill me then that information will die with me."

"Shut up!" Michael roared. He snatched the phone from Kyle, bringing it to his face. "Stop acting like a goddam martyr and give us the code!" Nothing from the other end of the line. Michael felt whatever composure he had snatched away, leaving him with the pit of sickness and anger. "You wanna protect us then give us this information, information that can lead us to Jesse; we can stop him, we can end this." Michael tried to appeal to Alex's logical side.

"At what cost Gurian?" Alex's asked, and for a moment, Michael could hear the soldier voice slip away. "How much more blood needs to be spilt in the names of Manes, I'm trying to protect your family" The finale sound got stuck in Alex's throat, his own control slipping.

"This isn't the same." Michael's voice quivered as he spoke, shaking his head even though Alex couldn't see. "Alex..." Michael breathed, trying to collect himself before speaking again. "Don't do this; it's suicide." Michael turned off the speaker on the phone, bring it up to his ear. Michael walked further from the group, dropping his head slightly. "Like you said, I've already lost so much of my family to Manes men, don't let them take you too." Michael pleaded in a quiet voice, closing his eyes. "I thought you were tired of walking away, Alex?" Michael continued, scared that if he stopped talking, this would be it. He was trying to press every button Alex had, everything to get him to stay. 

Michael could hear breathing on the other end, then a sniffle. "We were pretty cosmic, weren't we?" Michael couldn't help but give a hollow laugh, already knowing the answer in his head. "Take care, Michael." Alex breathed.

"Alex" Michael spoke, "Alex?!" He called. No one replied he was gone.

"You've got 44 hours to get me that file," Jesse spoke. Before Michael could say anything, Jesse hung up. Michael slowly pulled his phone away from his face.

"Michael?" Isobel Tentatively asked. Michael had forgotten that there were other people in the room, he took a moment before turning around to face the group. He could see the small amount of hope on Kyle, Liz and Marias face fall. Liz slumped down in her chair, kyle dropping his head and leaning on the table.

They didn't get the file.

Michael felt vacant inside; he knew hoping was pointless, but he when talking to Alex, he thought they would get the information. That they'd spent time getting intel, tracking Alex down, saving him, then Michael could kick his ass for being so selfless. But, that wasn't going to happen. They had 44 hours to find Alex, with no way of doing so. They'd lost, and Jesse had won.

Michael hurled the phone against the wall, his anger and defeat erupting all at once. A shock wave follows his throw, crashing into the wall, causing it to shake. Some lockers against the wall rattled and fell to the ground with a crash. Michael's chest heaved heavily. He turned and left the bunker. Once he got out into the sun, Michael paced back and forth for a moment, feeling the building of tension rising again. Michael walked passed an abandoned car, closing his eyes trying to breathe. The next time Michael walked past the car, he launched his fist into the bonnet, causing the hood to crumple like a piece of paper. He, raised his fist to hit the bonnet again when someone caught his fist. He turned around to see Isobel holding his arm, a sympathetic look on her face. Michael went to yell at her, scream but before he got a chance, she pulled his arm forward, into a hug. Michael stood still, Isobel wrapping her arms around her brother, her head resting on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Michael" Isobel softly spoke. Michael felt himself tense more. She wasn't just sorry they didn't get the information, she was sorry what that represented, that they'd lost him; Michael had lost Alex, and this time for good.

_**An undisclosed location...** _

_"_ You've got 44 hours to get me that file. _"_ With that, Jesse took the phone from his face and handed it off to the solider on the side. He was keeping his eyes on Alex. 

Jesse walked in front of Alex, looking down at him. "You're not making this easy Alex." He said, that signature coldness in his voice.

"Well, when have I ever made things easy for you, dad." Alex jeered, trying not to give away the lump that was in his front, still trying to gather himself from that conversation with Michael. Trying his best to put himself in soldier mode, he was behind enemy lines and needed to act like it.

"You're going to tell me how to get that file." Jesse demanded 

"No, no, I'm not," Alex replied, matching his father cold tone.

"Are you really going to do this to your friends?" Jesse crouched down in front of Alex, hands clasped in front of him. "You give me that file, and I'll leave them alone, Alex, you can go back to Roswell and...live your life."

"And what about the rest of them?" Alex asked, sitting forward on the chair, tugging at the cuffs. "I won't let you keep hurting people." 

Jesse shook his head, "You just had to get involved; I was trying to protect you, son."

"Don't." Alec bite, that soldier composure dropping for a moment, a side effect of being around his father.

Jesse sighed. "You know if I'd known you were the only one that had access to the file I wouldn't have taken you...Gurian on the other hand-"

Alex pulled forward, his movement stopped by the cuffs; digging into his skin. "If you go near any of them, I swear-"

Jesse gave a bitter laugh, making Alex hate him more; if that was even possible. "You really think you're in the position to make threats?" 

Alex was still leaning forward on his chair, he slowly leaned back, the blood rushing back into his hands now the cuff wasn't pressed against his skin. "It's not a threat, they don't mean anything, its a promise" Alex carefully and calmly spoke. "If you go near any of them, your already minuscule chance of getting me to tell you how to get the file will drop to zero." Alex kept his fathers stare, he chest rising and falling steadily. His father was many things, but stupid was not one of them. He could see the understanding on his face, threatening his friends wasn't going to work. He had one move left and he was going to play it.

Jesse turned away from Alex to a soldier standing in the room "Make him talk." Jesse walked towards the large door, standing next to it, waiting.

Alex closed his eyes and tried to think of something else like he'd done in Iraq, thinking back to simpler times. The same memory came to his mind, he'd replyed it a hundred times when he'd been lying in the desert, bullet wounds and shrapnel covering his body. For a moment, Alex could feel the warm air on his face. He was led down in a truck bed, looking up at the clear sky. A quiet acoustic song was being played next to him, he turned his head to see Michael lying down, guitar on his chest while he played. Michael turned his head to look at Alex, the perfect side smile on his face. Alex held onto that memory as the blade pierced into his shoulder.


	5. Someday we’ll meet again and finally get it right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Kyle clash over how to save Alex and if he can actually be saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you guys for all your support, it means so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Michael stayed still while his sister kept her arms wrapped around him. Eventually, Isobel pulled away, holding her hands on his shoulder. "The group is going to search the house and cabin again, see if they missed anything."

"They didn't." Michael calmly said.

Isobel took her hand off his shoulder, wrapping it around herself. "Max said about cheeking the cameras around town, see if there are any cars with different licence plates, see if they can be tracked out of town."

Michael leaned on the car next to him, shaking his head. "You really think we're just be able to track them to where the hell they took him?" In quick succession, images of where Alex could be held flashed in his mind; dark, cold, dirty buildings, Alex alone in them. "You don't think Jesse had them switch cars." Michael was over these false hopes and whimsical ideas, they would lead nowhere, and it seemed like he was the only one that knew that.

"I don't know, but its all we've got." Isobel tried to reassure.

"So we've got nothing." Michael quietly said.

"I'm sorry Michael-"

Michael pushed himself off the bonnet, "Why do you keep apologising?!" He yelled.

"Because I know how much he meant to you, and that phone call..." Isobel paused, taking a breath, "...that couldn't have been easy." Michael looked away, not meeting his sister's eyes. Isobel reached out and carefully grabbed Michaels hand, wrapping both her hers around it. "And I know right now you've got no hope we're going to find him, but I promise you we will try everything." Michael could see the hope and comfort of his sisters face, but it did little to reassure him, his whole body felt numb and hollow like everything necessary had been ripped out.

"Liz and I are going to search the Cabin; Maria is going to go with Isobel to the house," Max called coming out of the bunker.

Michael pulled his hand from his sister. "You leave me here with Valenti I can't promise we'll both be here when you get back."

Max went to say something when Liz put her hand on his chest, stepping forward towards Michael. "I know you're angry, we all are" She stopped just short of him, placing her hand on his shoulder like his sister had. "But Kyle is Alex's friend too, whether you like or not, play nice." She tried to sound playful at the end, but it fell flat. Michael watched as the group left the bunker site, leaving Michael standing outside by himself. Michael kicked the dirt underneath him, looking around. After a moment he walked back into the bunker, Kyle was opening draws and lockers, pulling things out.

Kyle turned around, noticing Michael had come into the room. "I'll search on this side, why don't you take the other side." He said, going back to the paperwork in the locker.

"You're not going to find anything." Michael sighed. Kyle stopped looking at the files and turned towards Michael, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know Alex; he's methodical, deliberate, he's not just going to leave evidence around if he knew his father was coming?!" Michael called.

"You don't think I know that!" Kyle barked.

"Then why are you looking?" Michael asked.

"Because!" Kyle snapped, throwing his arms to the side. "Because I can't just sit around and do nothing, we've got 40 something hours and-and I can't just wait for them to be up" Kyle breathed heavy, taking a moment to compose himself. Kyle stepped over the papers on the floor towards Michael. "Alex would never give up on any of us so, I'm not giving up on him, so if you wanna give up-"

"I'm not giving up." Michael cut off.

"Really?" Kyle scoffed, tilting his head to the side. "Because it seems like since the moment we got that call you checked out, and have just given up."

"What do you want me to do, Kyle?" Michael yelled, feeling like that was all he had done that day; still, no one listened to him "There's nothing we can do! What you want me to hope? Pray?" Michael mocked.

"Try something, anything?!" Kyle shouted, Michael just shook his head and looked away, if he didn't think it was pointless, he would almost be impressed by Kyles determination. Michael looked back at Kyle to see his fierce face had softened slightly, he looked away for a moment before once again crossing his arms over his chest. "Look, for all your dickish qualities, you care about Alex, a lot" Michael looked away again, the thought of Alex too painful right now. "You might think hope is worthless but, I'm not giving up and...I'll hope you'll join me." Michael took a breath, biting his lip. For the first time since he's got the phone call this morning, he took a moment to look at Kyle. He looked dishevelled, tired. His usually perfectly styled hair was a mess, his eyes tired. Michael never liked Kyle, and it wasn't a secret, the kid was cocky and loud, but that wasn't the person standing in front of him now, what Michael saw was a guy who just wanted his friend back. Michael groaned slightly, shaking his head. He walked over to the other side of the room and opened the locker which he knew had already been searched and started to pull papers out. He heard Kyle give a shaky breath and noise behind him as he went back to the documents on the floor.

Michael wasn't sure how long they'd been searching for, a few hours maybe? They'd turned the whole bunker upside down, no piece of paper unread or locker unopened. Anything hollow had been looked inside. Michael was sat at the table going through the last of the files, some government files about project Shepard but nothing significant. Kyle was sat at the computer typing in guess after guess, Michael had lost count of the number of times he'd heard the error noise and once again like clockwork it sounded again. "DAMIT" Kyle yelled, slamming his fists on the table. Michael looked around to see Kyle; his elbows rested on the table, his head resting in his hands. "He's going to kill him, and there's nothing we can do." He heard him murmur. Michael stopped reading the file and started to walk up the stairs towards him, when Kyle pushed himself away from the table, heading down that stairs past Michael. "How do you deal with this?" He demanded, Michael turned around, pausing on the stairs. "Knowing there's nothing we can do and-and being okay with it?"

"You think I'm okay with this?" Michael asked, narrowing his eyes. He could feel the rage start to build up in his chest again, making its way through his body as he walked towards Kyle. "Jesse Manes and his men have taken everything from me; my mother, my kind and now I have to sit by and watch him take Alex from me, again!" Micheal yelled his chest heaving, the word 'again' catching in his throat, almost too much to say, remembering the first time Alex left. "I don't know what else to do, or how to help and if I think about it too much I-" Michael turned away from Kyle again, trying to control himself but the electric feeling coursed through his body causing him to clench his fist.

Silence feel across the bunker, both having admitted something they didn't want to, the realisation settling like dust. "They're not going to find it, are they?" Kyle sadly acknowledged.

The rage and anger that Michael had felt were suddenly ripped away, replaced by a hollowness, a hint of grief was all to be felt. "No" He admitted, unable to look at Kyle as he did.

"So what do we do now? This is it?" Kyle asked, slumping down in the chair by the table. Michael walked over and sank into the chair next to him, both of them facing the destroyed room. "I just-" Kyle started then stopped himself, he leaned forward on his elbows, running his hand through his hair. "You said that the computer has all the information you've been working on? Why would Alex lock you out of that forever?"

Michael leaned back on the chair, looking up at the roof. "He's trying to protect us." Because that's what Alex did.

"No, no he wouldn't take that from you" Kyle replied, shaking his head. Kyle paused for a moment, seemingly thinking something over. Kyle abruptly stood up from the chair, turning to face Michael with wide eyes. "I think we've been looking in the wrong place" Michael titled his head to the side, unsure why Kyle was suddenly so excited, having given up hope moments ago. "We're not going to find the code on some piece of paper or in a cupboard; it's you." Kyle smiled, giving a small laugh like he just solved everything.

"What?" Michael asked, standing from his own chair.

Kyle took a breath, "He wouldn't keep information about your mom from you, he wouldn't take that away" Michael gave another confused look telling Kyle he still didn't understand what the hell he was on about. Kyle gave a frustrated sigh, clearly annoyed that Michael didn't appreciate his genius new plan. "He knew his dad would work out he had the information and would probably do something like this to get the file back, so he just needs the file to be hidden until the time runs out."

"You're not making any sense," Michael replied the frustration he was feeling seeping into his words.

"I think he set the code to something you would know" Kyle simply said, "Something you could work out eventually."

Michael shook his head, annoyed he'd waited this long for that to be Kyle 'genius' idea. "No, why would he do that he's trying to keep us from getting the file."

Kyle gave an exasperated groan. "Yeah for now, while Jesse is looking for it..." Kyle paused, clearly letting Michael think it over. As far as Jesse knows Alex is the only one that can get to that file, if he can't get Alex to tell him what it is, then he'll think the data is lost, but if Michael was able to work out the code in a week or month, then Jesse probably wouldn't notice, on the surface it made sense. Michael's face seemed to reflect he'd understood, Kyle stepped closer to him. " "What would he set it?"

Michael was so tired of having this conversation, people asking him for an answer he didn't have. "I have no idea okay, I've tried everything I can think of-"

Kyle shook his head, "No, not logical things, things that are important to you, to both of you."

Michael stopped his brain before his mind could conjure up those images, not sure he could handle thinking about the happier times he and Alex shared. "This is ridiculous, Alex wouldn't let his emotions choose a code, he's rational."

Kyle took another step forward. "Not when it comes to you, when it comes to you...his emotions are in the driving seat." Unable to stop himself, Michael thought about their conversations over the last couple of months, how emotionally charged most of them had been. "Think, what-what would he set it at?" Kyle asked, once again stepping closer.

Michael took a step back from Kyle, the back of his knees hitting the chair, the close proximity of Kyle, causing him to feel claustrophobic. "I don't know." He stuttered.

"Then try! This is our only hope okay, so just think of something?" Kyle asked, Michael tried to rack his brain, but nothing was coming through, not obvious, how the hell was he meant to know what Alex set that code as, what was important to him? "Michael, please." Kyle pleaded.

Michael walked passed Kyle and up to the computer, slowly taking a seat. He looked down at the keyboard; something to do with him, something he would know. Michael took a breath, holding his hands over the keys. Michael punched in a series of numbers; the date they met, wrong. Another set of numbers; the day they first kissed, the error flashed on the screen. Michael took another breath, clenching then unclenching his hands. He didn't even know if Alex remembers any of this stuff. Michael felt the aching in his chest grow, having to think of these happy times with Alex, not knowing if he was ever going to see him again was almost unbearable. The date they took the photo Michael found under Alex's floorboard; wrong. This hurt Michael hard, his hand redacting from the keyboard like it was burning. "It's not working." Michael croaked, he coughed to try and regain some strength in his voice.

He heard Kyle coming up the stairs, standing next to him. "Just-try something else okay?"

Michael pushed himself back on the chair, needing space from the computer and Kyle. "I can't think of anything else okay! You're wrong; this has nothing to do with me, okay" Alex's fate couldn't be in Michaels's hands, that didn't make sense. "I mean Alex spent the last week avoiding me and barley talking to me!"

Kyle came in front of Michael, standing in front of the screen. "You really think he doesn't care about you." Michael didn't speak, his silence giving Kyle all the answers he needed, he scoffed. "After everything you two have been through-"

"You have no idea what we've been through." Michael bite, squaring up to Kyle.

Kyle took a few steps back, pointing to the screen behind him. "I know that when he found out about all this and saw your name on an alien terrorist list, he didn't believe it." Michael furrowed his brow, he had never heard the full story about how Alex found out, he knew it was from his dad, but that was it. "In fact, he knew it wasn't right because he trusted you, knew you were good!" Kyle called.

Michael kept his eyes on Kyle. Michael could still feel the lump in his throat that he had gotten that day when he worked out, Alex knew. When Alex asked 'I wanna know who you are Gurien' Michael felt like his entire world had gotten smaller, pressing down on his chest; he knew. Michael thought he'd yell, scream, demand answers but instead he wanted to talk about Michaels family and life. When Michael had shown Alex the ship pieces, he'd noticed a change, Alex backed off. Michael didn't want to admit it, but it stung, maybe Alex couldn't accept him. All the while it was because Alex was worried Michael would leave. "Well, I guess he was wrong about me," Michael said.

Kyle scoffed. "What happened to the guy that managed to build an alien pacemaker in less than an hour or the guy that went all the way to Caulfield on a hunch just to see if he could save his family."

"He watched them blow up in front of his eyes" Michael spat. He stepped forward, essentially pinning Kyle against the desk. "He learned that hoping for something to happen doesn't mean jack." Michael took a finale look at the screen, the error code still flashing from his previous attempts. "Whatever Alex set as that code, I have no idea." Michael turned and started to head down the stairs, not wanting to be in the bunker anymore.

"And here I thought you two had some sort of profound connection." Kyle taunted.

Michael froze, like something, had reached up from the floor grabbing his leg.

_'I mean we just connected...like something-'_

_'-Cosmic.'_

The memory hit Michael, knocking any breath he had in his chest out. Michael had replayed that conversation over in his mind so many times. He had been so fed up with Alex that day, he'd essentially ended things the day before and now wanted to talk, Michael was sure that Alex was going to bitch him out. So when Alex told him he'd loved him, Michael was lost for words, thinking he'd never hear those words from Alex. He remembered how the past tense had strung more than he wanted to admit. The memory triggered something else.

_'We were pretty cosmic, weren't we?'_

The last thing Alex had said on the phone to him. Michael felt his heart hammering harder in his chest, the noise is the only thing he could hear. Michael slowly turned around. Kyle was still stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at Michael, a bewildered look on his face.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing just-" Michael breathed, his lungs still trying to regain air like someone had been holding him underwater. Michael glanced his eyes over at the computer. Mixed in with all the despair, anger and disappointment, Michael felt something he hadn't felt in a while, hidden away in the dark corners of his heart; hope. Michael ignored Kyle's question, walking past him back to the computer. He sat down on the chair and pulled himself to the desk, feeling the anxiety rise in his chest, giving that familiar drowning feeling. Michael held his hands over the keyboard, a small tremor running through them. Michael slowly typed the code into the keyboard, his hands pausing over the enter button. This was it, if this was wrong, Alex would be lost, taking a piece of Michael with him. Michael closed his eyes as he pressed enter. The moment between this and the noise had felt like infinity. When the noise sounded, Michael had wanted to curl in on himself; he failed, but then his brain processed the noise. It was higher, quicker than the other noise.

"Holy shit Michael." Kyle gasped, having appeared next to him. Michael opened his eyes. A bright green rectangle was across the screen, the words 'Access granted' flashing. He heard Kyle laughing next to him, "What the hell was it?" He asked, a wide childlike grin on his face. Michael looked over at Kyle, and for the first time today, he looked like the kid he knew. The broad smile on Kyle's face softened, he reached out and squeezed Michael's shoulder briefly. A look on his face that told him 'you don't have to tell me' Kyle gave a finale nod before rushing down the stairs, calling behind him. "I'll call the others". Michael kept his eyes on the screen, scared if he looked away the display would change to an error again, and the fragment of hope he had allowed into his chest would be torn apart from him. Michael managed to pull his eyes away from the screen, Kyle was stood by the large table talking on the phone. Michael gave one finale look at the screen before heading down to see Kyle, Michael perched on the large table, his hands laid in his lap.

"There be here soon," Kyle replied the smallest hint of a smile now ever-present on his face. Kyle collapsed into the chair next to Michael, clearly the exhaustion and stress from the day starting to take over.

"How did you know?" Michael softly asked. "That he'd set it to something to do with me?"

Kyle leaned forward on his chair a little, a soft smile on his face. "He cares too much about you to take that information away from you."

Michael nodded his head, trying not to read too much into what Kyle was saying, he'd had enough hope for one day. "Thank you," Michael replied a sincere smile on his face.

"You're the one that figured out the code." Kyle smiled.

"And I'm couldn't have done that without you." Michael reluctantly admitted, crossing his arms over his chest, looking away.

"Ah, I'm sure you woulda worked it out eventually," Kyle said, standing up from the chair.

Michael huffed, a small smile on his face. "Valenti would you just shut up and let me thank you."

Kyle turned around, giving a small laugh. The bunker once again felt bigger, there was room to breathe. "I guess I'm not used to hearing thank you from you." Michael gave a small nod, it made sense.

"We'll don't get used to it" Michael walked away from the table, heading back towards the computer.

"But I mean it Gurien, thank you; for not giving up on him." Michael stopped walking, turning away to look at Kyle.

Michael ran a hand through his hair, shoving his hands into his pocket. "Part of me still sees you as that jock ass from highschool who made Alex's life hell, I guess part of me has never really forgiven you for that," Michael admitted, tilting his head to the side.

Kyle gave a small nod, looking down at his shoes. "I haven't forgiven myself if I'd known what was going on at home with him I-"

"But you didn't," Michael said, stepping closer to Kyle "And you're not that kid anymore." Michael wasn't sure why he was trying to reassure Kyle, a few hours ago he was ready to kill him. "I'm not innocent either, I haven't made Alex's life the easiest, I've made my fair share of mistake, and then some" It stung Michael to admit, but it was true. After everything that had happened with Rosa Michael had changed, and Alex had taken the brunt of that change.

Kyle walked towards Michael, giving a slight nod. "Well, I guess when we get him back, we can tell him that." Kyle had a smile before heading back up to the computer as well. Michael paused for a moment, the optimistic feeling that had taken over the bunker began to fade; they still had to find out where Alex was, and even had to get him back. Michael started to walk towards the computer. Michael was being realistic, they still had to get Alex back and that wasn’t going to be easy but Michael was holding onto something he’d been avoiding all day; hope, and for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo we're working our way to get Alex back, so we'll be seeing Alex in the next chapter!


	6. Hope and fear are the same.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group narrowed down where Alex could be and set off to find him, unsure what they will find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank youu for the feedback, enjoy!

Michael sat at the chair, the unlocked file in front of him. Within the file from Caulfield, there were several other files. More information than they had anticipated. "That's... a lot of information," Kyle said from beside Michael. Michael felt a small pit grow in his stomach, they had around 35 hours left to get the information, Michael had no idea how long it was going to take to find out where Alex was being held, or if they could find that information. Michael tried to push the thought to the back of his mind, focusing on the now and present.

"Michael!" Max called, rushing into the bunker with the rest of the group behind him. Michael turned around in his chair; standing up, Liz came up the stairs towards the screen. 

"How the hell did you guys get in!?" Liz gasped, trying to catch her breath.

Michael looked over at Kyle, who was, in turn, looking at him. "Uhh, Michael actually figured it out." Michael gave a subtle nod to the rest of the group. Liz walked forward and wrapped Michael in a large hug, her chin tucked into his shoulder.

Michael slowly wrapped his arms back around her, giving her back a small pat. "Thank you, Michael." Liz pulled back, giving his shoulders one finale squeeze.

"I thought only one of you was going to survive this bunker?" Max joked, walked forward towards Michael.

"What?" Kyle asked, a small frown on his face.

Michael shook his head, waving Kyle away. "Ahh nothing, not important." Max gave a small laugh, clasping Michael on the shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

Isobel stepped forward, "Not to interrupt this lovely moment, but we still have to decide what to do with this file." She motioned to the screen, the group following her hand. "Do we know what's in it?" She asked.

Michael turned back around, his hands leaning on the desk. "Lots of sensitive information about Project Shepard; names, dates, locations."

"Anything about where Alex might be?" Maria asked, coming to stand next to him.

"In that document no, but we found other files that might have something, but there's a lot." Michael continued, the unsettling feeling rising in his stomach again.

"We've got around 35 hours, that should be enough time?" Liz asked.

"Its the only choice we've got right? We can't hand this file over to Jesse Manes." Isobel said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Well, let's get started then," Liz said, an air of confidence radiating from her.

Michael kept his eyes on the screen. So far, they had found two locations; with coordinates attached that they believed Alex could be held at. One was a few hours away, a military base, the other an old hospital slighter closer, both supposedly abandoned, much like Caulfield was meant to be. "What about that one?" Kyle asked, leaning closer to the monitor, reading some information about another military base.

"Nah, that's too close to a city, too risky," Michael added, scanning the screen.

"How are we doing? Got anything else?" Max called.

"Nothing so far," Kyle replied, handing over the notes they had to Max. "We're still looking for more." Michael continued to work through Alex's detailed records, feeling the presences of the group behind him, creating a heavyweight on his shoulders.

"What about this," Michael called to the group, Max and Isobel came to his side. "An abandoned prison, about four hours from here." Michael read through the notes, it was eerily similar to Caulfield. Michael felt his stomach flip, the thought of Alex being held in a Caulfield like place, and the things Jesse could be doing to get Alex to talk cause Michael to retract from the keyboard for a moment.

"That looks promising," Isobel said, leaning closer to the screen.

Michael scrolled down on the document, only to find it had ended. "And that's it." Michael sighed. They'd spent god know how many hours searching the information, Michael would guess 6 or 7.

"So we've got three locations where Alex could be?" Isobel asked. "And we've got 28 hours."

"I'm guessing we can't get to them all in time?" Kyle asked, doing the mental math for how long it would take them to get to each site, clear it and then rescue Alex when they found him.

"If we split up we can?" Michael said, looking around the room. He walked back towards the screen, pointing at one of the locations. "The furthest one is around 4 hours away, so that would leave us about 24 hours to get in and get him out." 24 hours, that was possible Michael repeated over, in 24 hours they would have Alex back in Roswell, that was something his mind could work with.

"Whoa, we aren't leaving right away Michael we've got to prepare?" Max said, coming to stand by him.

Michael cocked his head to the side, "Prepare what? we aren't going to get any more info on these places?" Max gave a quick sigh, looking to Isobel, but Michael continued, "We can exactly look them up on Yelp to find the best way in and out?" Michael felt his frustration building again, they finally had a viable lead on Alex, and now Max was talking about waiting?

Max, started to head down the steps to the main section of the lobby, looking at the file as he talked. "Okay, we'll we should at least look at a map, see what's around and then get some rest-"

"-Get some rest?" Michael sputtered, following Max down to the lower level. Max stopped walking in his track and turned to face Michael, who was shaking his head; a cold, hollow laugh following. "We just found out where Alex could be and you wanna, what? Take a quick nap?" He gabbed, feeling like that sliver of hope that had been inside of him was slowly being ripped out again.

Max placed the file down on the table, looking up at his brother. "Michael, we've been at his 20 hours straight, we need some rest before we go in, we don't know what we're going to face?" Michael snorted, biting his lower lip. If he was honest, he had even been aware of how long they'd been working for, the only time he was focused on was how long Alex had left. While they stood here debating that time got shorter and shorter.

Isobel had now appeared next to Michael, her hand on his arm. "Why don't we all grab a quick 4 hours refresher and then meet back here?"

Michael looked between his siblings, not quite sure he could believe what he was hearing. All-day everyone had been bitching at him to believe they could find Alex, promising they could help and now we're saying to stop? Michael took a step back from them, he turned around to see Liz, Kyle and Maria had now entered the lower level. "You know funnily enough I don't feel that tired."

Liz had a warm smile on her face, her eyes lowered, she opened her mouth, and before she even spoke, Michael knew what she was going to say. "Michael-"

"Do you have any idea what Jesse Manes could be doing right now?" Michael shouted, looking around to face the group who was avoiding his eyes. "What he could be doing to Alex?" Michael's voice hitched at the end, he had been trying to push those thoughts and images to the side but as the time went on the wall keeping them at bay got weaker.

"If we go in halfcocked and screw this up then we could be putting him in more danger." Max tried to be rational, but since Michael had seen the folder of possible locations, and the timer ran down, his ability to see things rationally seemed to be slipping fast. "We've gotta rest." Max tried again.

Michael pursed his lips for a moment, nodding his head. He motioned towards the large door behind Max "You do that, I'll get the intel, and once you're had a nice rest, we can go." The statement was seeping with sarcasm and passive aggression.

"Michael-" Max said, catching Michaels arm as he tried to walk away.

Michael spun on his heels, grabbing Max's arm tightly. "If it was Liz missing, would you be napping?" Michael seethed. Max stern face softened, his eyes closing for a moment. “Or would you be doing everything you could to save her?” The weight of what Michael had said settled across the bunker, the only sound being Michael's heavy breathing. Max didn’t speak, the look on his face and the way he couldn’t hold Michael’s eyes gave him his answer. Michael threw Max's arm away from him, heading back up to the computer. "I'll see you in 4 hours." Was all he said, taking a seat. Michael pulled his hands into his lap, keeping his hands clasped, scared of what might happen if he released the tension he was feeling now.

Michael stayed seated at the computer; watching as the clock ticked down. It had been around 4 hours since the group had left. They had gone to get some rest and restock. Michael was the only one that stayed behind, gathering as much intel as he could. Michael gathered the files he had complied and headed down to the main table with them. Three locations; Abandoned hospital, prison and military base. After some research, Michael thought the military base was the most likely. It had been abandoned for the longest, was far from civilians and from maps and pictures online looked to be the most heavily protected in terms of fencing, definitely a place to hide someone they didn't want to be found.

Michael was about to call Max to get his ass back to the bunker when the door opened. Michael turned to see the rest of the group walk back in; clothes changed, bags on their shoulders. "How was the nap?" Michael taunted, keeping his eyes on the table. Before anyone could answer, Michael continued, pointing at the three files on the table. "So, these are the three locations; with as much info as I could find; maps, pictures but there's not much." Michael looked down at the files below. If Alex was here he was sure he’d been able to find floor plans, some other important information but all Michael had was himself, and right now that didn’t feel like enough.

"So what's the plan?" Kyle asked, picking up one of the files and flicking through it.

"We split up, three groups go to three locations," Michael said, stillness came across the bunker, Michael looked up to see the rest of the group looking at each other, clearly not thrilled with the idea of splitting up, and if he was honest, neither was he. "It's our only choice; we've only got 20 hours left, and we can't hit them all together." Michael followed up, trying to explain to the group and reassure himself he was making the right decision.

The rest of the group seemed to nod along, Kyle putting the file down again. "Which one do you think is the most likely?" He asked.

"The military base," Michael answered, trying to sound more confident than he actually was. He picked up the file and glanced through it.

Kyle nodded and came to stand next to Michael, leaning on the table. "Okay so how about you and I hit that one?" Michael nodded. Kyle may not be an alien, but he was determined, and right now, that was enough. He was also a doctor and while Michael wanted nothing more than to turn up to a perfectly safe and uninjured Alex…he was with Jesse Manes, making that unlikely.

"Then Liz and I will take the prison," Max said Michael pointed to the file that contained that intel.

"Leaving the hospital to Isobel and me," Maria said, coming to stand next to her. The group nodded, looking down at their files.

"We all stay in contact and stay safe," Max said, slinging one of the bags over his shoulder, passing another one to Liz. Michael looked at his siblings, an uneasy feeling sinking in on him as he released, he was sending his brother and sister to a possible Alien torture location. Michael thought back to the sites, he was sure the one he and Kyle were heading to was the one, it had to be, not only for Alex’s sake but for his siblings.

The group spent the next hour or so reading their files and going over their plans. Finally, they were all ready, it was time to leave. Michael locked the computer and the bunker and headed outside. He watched as Liz and Maria spoke to each other, giving a tight hug before they parted. Michael caught eyes with Isobel, his sister mouthing 'be safe, I love you' at him before heading to her car with Maria in tow. Max walked over to Michael, taking a deep breath. "I know you wanna bring him back, and you’re right, I’d do anything for Liz but..." Max paused again, rocking back on his feet. "...come back, alive." There was a sincerity and desperation in his brother voice that stopped Michael from making a snarky comment. Michael gave a sly nod, not wanting to look Max in the eyes, honestly not sure if he could keep that promise. Max gave his shoulder a squeeze, turning to walk past Liz who was approaching Michael after parting from Kyle.

“Take care of him,” Liz asked, nodding her head towards Kyle. Michael nodded, “I was about to ask you the same thing,” Michael said, motioning towards Max, who was slipping into his truck. Liz gave a small chuckle, “Don’t let him be a hero,” Michael sighed. “Guess it runs in the family,” Liz softy said.

Michael gave a dejected laugh, “I’m no hero Liz,” He said, thinking back to how he’d left Alex in that bunker when he knew something was off.

“You worked out the code, that seems pretty heroic to me.” She teased, Michael looked away, biting the inside of his cheek. Liz gave him a finale smile before heading back to Max. Michael turned and headed towards Kyle's truck, jumping in.

“You ready?” Kyle asked.

Michael looked over at Kyle, then out of the window as the other cars pulled away, wondering when he’d see them again, a dark thought clawed at his mind that caused him to start to think if he’d see them again instead of when. Kyle pulled out of the lot, not waiting for Michael reply, maybe none of them were ready.

During their journey, the boys went over their plan, although the word plan seemed like a bit of a stretch. Looking from the photos, there was a section at the back where the fence looked weak. There were several small buildings but the large one in the center would be Michael’s best guess. Once they got in there it was anyone's guess where Alex would be, and if he was even there, a possibility Michael couldn't comprehend right now. It was starting to get dark now, they hoped the darkness would provide some cover, they only had once chance, they'd seen what happened if they triggered the alarm at Caulfield. Michael winced in his seat, that was something he couldn't think about right now. Eventually, they pulled up about a mile away, not wanting to alert anyone to their presences. Michael and Kyle walked towards the large building in the distance.

Michael kept his head ducked, seeing if he could hear anything like Caulfield; silence. They drew closer, the building getting more into focus, they ducked down and headed towards the fence. Michael looked along the chain fence, trying to find the weakest point. Michael focused his mind on a small section, the chain links splintering. Michael and Kyle stooped down and quietly entered the lot, it appeared empty, just as Caulfield had.

Michael looked around to see if any of the buildings stood out. They carefully headed towards the large building in the centre. Michael approached the door and carefully used his powers to open it, not wanting to draw attention to themselves. The boys headed down the hallway, checking as they went. Once they reached the end, there was a stairwell, leading up and down. The boys met eyes, not sure where to go next. Michael closed his eyes and tried to focus. Michael slowly opened the door and headed in with Kyle in toll. Kyle touched his shoulder. "I'll take upstairs you take downstairs" Michael frowned, not convinced that splitting up was a good idea. He looked down at his watch; 13hours to go. Michael gulped, giving a small nod. Michael reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver gun, handing it over to Kyle.

"Stay outta trouble, call me if you find him." Michael hushed back.

Kyle gave a finale nod before making his way upstairs. Michael continued downstairs, the building looked old, the metal stairs were scuffed and dirted, but the lack of dust and cobwebs told Michael that these stairs were used regularly; this place was far from abandoned. Once Michael reached the bottom, there was a large door, he moved towards it. Near the top, there was a rectangle, with a small handle. Michael vigilantly pulled the handle back, looking through it. There was a long hallway, no evidence there was anyone else. Michael tried to push the door, but it was locked. Michael looked back down and focused on the handle, things go blurry for a second before the lock cracked and opened. Michael headed in, still unsure what he was looking for or if he was even in the right place. Michael stood up and walked down the hallway, along the walls, there were rows of doors, some open wide, others agar. Michael felt that sense of desperation start to rise up again, each empty room increasing the pit in his stomach, pulling in the embers of hope he had produced. As Michael reached the end of the hallway, he noticed one of the doors were closed, the floor near the entrance was scuffed like the door had been recently opened. Michael hesitantly approached the door, pressing his ear to see if he could hear anything; silence. Michael reached his hand up and gripped the slider, pulling it back silently. Michael drew his head close to the gap and looked in. In the middle of the room, there was a chair, secured to the floor. Within the chair was a body, hunched over looking at the ground. Michael felt his whole-body tremor, it was dark, and he couldn't see his face, but he didn't need to; it was Alex, and he wasn't moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALEX! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, now Michael has found Alex, will they be able to get out?


	7. When you left the world fell apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael tries to save Alex from the base but encounters challenges as well as something that could change everything forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotssss of Alex and Michael (as well as some angst) in this chapter so hope you enjoy!💗
> 
> -AJ

> _Previously_
> 
> _In the middle of the room, there was a chair, secured to the floor. Within the chair was a body, hunched over looking at the ground. Michael felt his whole-body tremor, it was dark, and he couldn't see his face, but he didn't need to; it was Alex, and he wasn't moving..._

Instantly, Michael dropped his hand from the slider, taking a few steps back to the blow the lock off the door. Michael yanked the door open and rushed into the room, the light following him as he did. Michael fell to his knees in front of Alex; his face was bruised, black eyes and cuts, his once white shirt was dirtied with blood, a considerable strain by his shoulder. Michael reached his hands up to cup Alex's face, pulling his head up.

"Alex!" he called, not wanting to draw attention to himself but the panic from seeing Alex unconscious getting the better of him. "ALEX," He repeated, bringing his face closer to Alex's. Finally, Alex's eyes began to peel open, he blinked a few times.

"Michael" he wheezed. Slowly bringing his head up. 

Michael slowly let go of Alex's face, drawing his attention to the cuffs around his wrists and ankles, swiftly popping them off, revealing the raw red skin below. Michael felt himself seething, trying to focus on getting Alex out of here not tracking Jesse Manes down and ripping him apart. "You shouldn't be here," Alex protested as Michael took Alex's arm, wrapping it around his shoulder.

Michael started to head towards the entrance again, carefully walking beside Alex supporting him. "Yeah well, since when do I listen to you!" He tried to joked.

He felt Alex shift next to him, almost as if he was trying to pull himself away. Michael tried to grab Alex's arm before he managed to slip it off his shoulder, but he was too late. Alex staggered but managed to stay standing. "You need to leave before-"

Michael grabbed the lapels of Alex's denim jacket, bring his face close. "We're leaving now, okay, we're getting out of here." He tried to walk with Alex again but Alex struggled against him, leaning against the wall, bringing his hand up to touch his bloodied shoulder.

"Ahh-" Alex gasped, squinting his eyes. "Just leave me, okay, go." He breathed.

Michael wanted to scream, trust Alex to make his rescue this hard. He walked over, placing his hand on his uninjured shoulder. "Alex would you just shut up for once please," He said, causing Alex to pull his face into a frown. "I'm not leaving here without you so we can either both go back and sit in that cell and wait for your dad to come back or get the hell outta here," his eyes focused on Alex. Alex gave a defeated sigh, nodding his head. Michael felt relief rushing through his body. He quickly slipped his phone out of his pocket, texting Kyle that he'd found Alex and to make his way to the car and bring it closer. Michael moved the phone back into his pocket, pulling his attention back to Alex, who was leaning against the wall. He walked towards Alex, who was pushing himself off the wall towards Michael. The pair headed down the hallway, back into the stairwell. Michael kept his eye's on Alex, scared if he looked away, the boy might disappear again. Slowly they headed up the stairs, Alex grimaced as he went, Michael was stuck between wanting to slow down for Alex and wanting to get the hell out of the place as quickly as he could. Once they reached the top of the stairwell, they headed back towards the large door that leads outside; freedom. As they approached the door, it was thrown open, Michael positioned himself in front of Alex, his arms thrown out to the side. In the doorway stood Jesse Manes, a silver gun in his hand pointed the pair.

"Mr Gurien." He calmly spoke, stepping closer. "I do hope you have that file with you." He spoke.

Michael kept his body tense, his arms spread out; they were so close. He felt Alex's hand wrap around his bicep. "Michael, go." He gasped, the dread in his voice clear, causing Michael to stand even taller.

"Ohh I don't think so." Jesse tutted, walking closer.

"Come any closer, and I will blow your head off," Michael said his voice slick with contempt. If Jesse Manes thought he was laying another hand on Alex, the man was deadly mistaken. 

Jesse seemed to come to a halt, his head slowly moving to the side. "I'm not the only person here Gurien, can't blow all their heads off."

"Watch me." Michael spat, his eyes dark and hand clenched.

He felt Alex try to push against his arm, but Michael held his ground, giving Alex a quick look. "Michael it's okay-"

"Let us leave" Michael interrupted, not in the mood to hear Alex's self-sacrificing speech. "We'll forget about this, I'll stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine." Michael struggled to say, wanting nothing more than to make Jesse Manes pay for what he'd done, the images of Alex's bruised and battered face in his mind, but right now all he could think about was getting Alex out of here.

Jesse seemed to think it over for a second, his eyes trained on Alex, he ducked his head, then slowly lowered the gun, Michael let out a sigh. "No deal." Muttered Jesse. Jesse quickly rose the gun again, pointing it Michael. Before he could react, Michael felt himself shoved to the side, Michael threw his hand out towards Jesse, pushing all the energy he had. A loud noise exploded within the hallway as Jesse was thrown against the wall. Michael charged forward, grabbing Jesse by the throat, lifting him up till he was eye level with him. Jesse kicked against him and struggled, but he was no match for Michael, who tightened his grip around the man's throat. He squeezed harder. "D-do it." Jesse gasped "S-show h-him who you r-really are...a mo-monster." He choked, his eyes moving to behind Michael. Michael turned his head to see Alex, slumped against the wall, slowly falling down. Michael turned back around to Jesse, a snarl escaping his lips; he wanted nothing more than to snap his neck right now. Michael tightened his grip, then thought of Alex behind him, with a finale grunt Micheal threw Jesse to the end of the hallway, the man hitting the wall then the floor with a thud, his eyes closed. Michael raced to Alex, catching him just before be hit the floor.

"I got ya, I got ya," Michael repeated, half carrying Alex out of the front door into the darkening night, the moon and stars being the only thing to light up the area. 

"St-stop," Alex heaved. Michael ignored him, shoving the fence out the way, breaking it more. Kyle had brought the car closer, Michael could see it a few yards away. The uneven ground below him causes Michael to stumble, his grip on Alex loosening. Alex seemingly crumbled next to him, his arm slipping off Michael. Michael turned tried to catch him, but he slipped past him and fell to the floor.

"ALEX!" He cried, no longer thinking about if someone could hear him. He crouched next to him to pull him up when he noticed it. A large and still growing red strain had appeared in Alex's abdomen. Michael pulled up his shirt to reveal a small wound; a bullet hole, still seeping blood. Michael thrust his hand over the injury, he saw Alex's mouth move like he cried out in pain, but he couldn't hear anything, besides his own heart beating in his ears. "No, no, no, no." Michael rambled, keeping his hand over the wound, it did little to stop the bleeding. 

"Yo-you need to go." Alex coughed, his lead rolling to the side. 

Michael grabbed Alex's hands, pressing them against the wound, causing Alex to clench his teeth. Michael shook his head. "No, no, no, it's fine, you're fine." Michael babbled.

"The-the guards will come-" Alex said, the panic evident in his voice.

Michael ignored Alex's pleas to be left behind, coming up to his side to try and lift him. "I gotta get you up." Michael went to lift Alex's arm around him when Alex cried out

"AHH," Michael instantly dropped his arm, his chest aching as he caused Alex pain.

Michael shook his head again, unsure of what to do. "I'm sorry, Alex, this is going to hurt, but we've got to go okay." He said, reaching for Alex's arm again when Alex reached up and weakly pushed his arm away.

"Then, g-go." Alex coughed.

Michael grabbed Alex's hand and pressed them back onto his wound. "I'm not leaving you!" He roared, Michael quickly sat up and riped his flannel off, balling it in his hands. He carefully peeled Alex's hands away and pressed the shirt to the wound, laying Alex's hands on top of it. "Why'd you have push me out the way, huh? Why'd you have to be the hero?!" Michael cursed, his mind trying to work out how best to move Alex without hurting him.

Alex rolled his head, so he was looking up at the sky, Michael felt a pit of terror open up inside him as he noticed how pale Alex was. "I couldn't let my-my dad hurt you again." He replied. 

Michael reached up and cupped Alex's face, nodding his head. "He's not going to hurt me, and he's not going to hurt you. You're safe." 

"MICHAEL!" Kyle screamed from behind him, running over and dropping to his knees beside him.

"Jesse-Jesse shot him," Michael said, the words making this whole fucking nightmare a reality.

Kyle seemed to freeze for a moment as he looked over Alex before he seemed to click over to doctor mood. He reached out and took Alex's pause. "Alex, look at me okay," He asked, looking into his eyes. Michael stood up and looked around, making sure none of the guards had appeared. He reached up and wrapped his hands around the back of his neck. He turned back around to see Kyle looking at Alex, his hands hovering over the bleeding flannel.

"Fix him or-or do something, and we'll leave." He said, again crouching next to Kyle. When Kyle didn't say anything, he looked over the man. Kyle was pale, the moonlight revealing his watery eyes, a few tears spilling over the edge. Why wasn't he doing something? "What!?" Michael asked.

"Michael I-I..." Kyle gasped, trying to say something but failing.

"I won't ma-make it back to Roswell-" Alex said for him, his voice monotone. 

Michael felt like he'd been shot, or his lungs had been shoved into a bucket of freezing water, maybe all of the above. Michael reached forward and grabbed the front of Alex's jacket again, nodding his head. "What are you talking about, yes-yes you will!"

Alex began to shake his head, "It's a gunshot wo-wound to-"

The matter of fact way he spoke caused Michael to grasp his shirt harder, he wasn't hearing this. "Stop talking okay, you're going to be fine." Michael asserted, "Kyle, do something!" He cried. 

Alex moved his hand from the wound, laying it on top of Michael, which was still gripping his jacket. "Hey, hey it-it's okay." He tried to reassure, a small tear falling out the corner of his eye.

Michael felt like the ground behind him was breaking, everything was uneven and falling apart. He moved on hand to cup Alex's face. "No, no, no, Alex, you've gotta get up!" Alex looked away, squeezing his eyes shut, his bottom lip trembling. "YOu aren't dying!" Michael wailed, his vision blurring in front of him.

"You-you have that file? Is s-safe?" Alex asked, his voice getting weaker and shakier, each word followed by a gasp.

Michael nodded, he watched a wave of relief washed over Alex's face, his head lolling to the side a little. "Go-good, you guys are-are safe." He gasped.

Michael rocked on his heels, "Stop, stop talking like that, Alex." He looked over at Kyle who had moved, tears still making their way down his face.

"Your family is safe," Alex whispered, a small smile on his face.

"You are my family!" Michael yelled, he let go of Alex's jacket his hand coming to rest against Alex's chest, his other hands tightly cupping Alex's face. "You can't leave me, you can't let Jesse win okay, you're a fighter Alex, you can fight this, and we can go back to Roswell an-and." Michael's voice got stuck in his throat, the sobs cutting him off. Alex's eyes fluttered close, his head leaning to the side. "ALEX!" Michael screamed, his used the hand on his cheek the shake his face, his other hand pushing against his chest to get him to move. Michael looked down at the wound, its bleeding had slowed. Michael looked over at Kyle, "What's happening." He wept, Kyle didn't say anything but gently shook his head from side to side. Michael looked back at Alex's, his face ghostly white against the floor, his eyes unmoving.

"no, no, no, no, no." Michael was sure he was still speaking, but he could no longer hear it; instead, a loud ringing grew in his ear. Michael hunched over forward his forehead resting against Alex's; his skin cold. Michael's hands shook against Alex's chest. 

_ this wasn't happening,  _ _ this wasn't happening,  _ _ this wasn't happening _

The phrase repeated over and over in Michael mind, but it did nothing to change the situation. Alex couldn't die, he couldn't let that happen. Michael had so much to tell Alex, things he needed him to hear. Michael wasn't sure if he was saying this out loud or thinking it, everything blending together. 

_ He can't die _

_ I have to save him _

_ I can't lose him _

The wind around them picked up, dust and rocks scattering and rising. Michael felt the energy in his body, reaching a breaking point like his whole body would fall apart soon. Michael pressed his hand hard against Alex's chest, a desperate cry ripping through him. The ground beneath him shook, then his whole body. Michael felt like everything had been drained from him, and for a moment, everything around him went dark. The wind around him fell, small pebbles hitting the ground. Michael opened his eyes, his head against Alex's. Michael kept motionless, his body aching, a few tears made there way down his face onto Alex's. Slowly Michael opened his eyes, he pulled back slightly, Alex's face looked less pale, Michael frowned, the light from the sky cleary fucking with him. Michael turned to look at Kyle, who was no longer next to him, but a few yards back, his eyes wide with shook. It was then Michael noticed the shattered windows of the car, the glass scattered across the floor. Michael turned back to Alex, suddenly Alex took a breath, deep and long. Michael brought both hands up to his face, looking into his slowly opening eyes. "Alex, hey, hey, look at me."

Alex began to look around, his eyes darting from Michael to his body. "What happened?" He gasped.

Michael looked down at Alex's body, going to his wound. He lifted Alex's hands and the shirt. The bullet wound was smaller, almost like it had partly healed, some redness around it and bruising. Michael slowly looked back up Alex's body, on his chest where Michaels's hand had been was glowing from under the shirt in the shape of a handprint. "I think I healed you." Michael panted. 

Alex scrambled to sit up, wincing as he did. He reached down and lifted his shirt to look at the wound, then back up at Michael, who was still in a state of shock. Kyle came over, falling down next to Alex. He reached out and looked at the wound, pocking the skin around the area for a moment, Kyle pulled Alex's shirt back down. "It looks like the internal damage is healed, the external damage needs stitching, but you'll live," Kyle said, a surprised and relieved laugh escaped him. 

"Since when could you heal people?" Alex's asked, looking up at Michael.

He slowly shook his head, a small smile on his face appearing. "Since right now, apparently." The group looked at each other, none of them moving. A sound appeared from over the fence.

"We need to go," Kyle whispered. Both Kyle and Michael grabbed Alex's arm, slinging it over their shoulders as they headed towards the car. As they got close, Kyle let go of Alex's shoulder, pulling his keys out of his pocket and throwing open the drivers door. Michael leads Alex to the back door, opening it and guiding Alex in, climbing in afterwards. Kyle peeled away from the area, trying to put as much distances between them and the building as possible. Michael took a finale look at the building in the back window. Part of him wanted to slam on the breaks and go back for Jesse Mane, to make the man pain for what he had done but then he turned to look at Alex who was next to him, an exhausted look on his face. Michael moved closer to Alex, needing to just be near him, to feel the warmth of him. "You're going to be okay," He said, his own voice sounding different, the exhaustion taking its toll, the action of feeling Alex having wholly drained him of energy. He felt Alex move closer to him, his body no longer freezing like it was on the ground. Michael's head reclined against the back of the seat, starting to lose the fight to keep his eyes open, Michael moved his head to the side one more time, needing to know Alex was still there. "You're safe." Michael breathed, unsure if he was reassuring himself or Alex. Michael looked back up at the roof, after a moment he felt Alex's head slump against his shoulder. His panic spiked in his body, his tired eyes open.

"He's fine to rest, it'll probably help," Kyle said, having watched the exchange in the rearview mirror. Michael nodded, trying not to disturb the sleeping Alex, "You should get some rest too, healing him took a lot out of you." Michael looked back down at Alex, his chest rising slowly and steadily; he was still breathing. 

"I'm fine," Michael said, his voice slightly slurred. He saw Kyle give a small smile in the mirror before he turned his eyes back to the road. Michael felt his eyes started to shut, fighting the keep them open and on Alex. Michael's eyes fluttered closed, not reopening again,

_ He didn't die _

_ I saved him _

_ I didn't lose him _

The words played over in Michael's mind as he fell asleep as well as the image of Alex safely asleep next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! feel free to leave any comment you have 💗💗
> 
> -AJ


	8. It’s not too late to make the end of our story a happy one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is taken back to the hospital where the gang greets him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter guyss I hope you enjoy!💗
> 
> -AJ

Michael felt himself jolted, his eyes opening slowly. It was dark, street lights speeding past him. Michael took a breath, his body still feeling drained, he felt something beneath his head. Michael glanced his eyes down to see a still sleeping Alex. It looked like he hadn't moved since Michael had fallen asleep. Michael rolled his head to look at his body; chest rising, body warm. "He's doing okay," Kyle spoke from the front. Michael carefully lifted his head to look forward. Kyle had one hand on the wheel, the other leaning again the open window. Michael looked back over at Alex to check Kyles words. "I pulled over a while ago to check." Michael felt some relief wash over him, Alex was still okay. "How are you feeling?" Kyle asked.

"Fine," Michael almost instantly replied, right now he wasn't worried about himself, he was just tired that was all. Alex may be alive, but he was still hurt, the bullet wound might not be bleeding out, but it was still there, same for the injury to his shoulder and the injuries Jesse caused. The thought of the man cause Michael to tense for a moment. Michael might have left Jesse behind this time, but he was sure if he saw Jesse again it would be different. He'd given Jesse a chance to walk away, and he'd shot Alex. Michael would make sure the next time he saw the man he'd make him regret that and every other thing he'd done to Alex. Jesse thought Michael was a monster if Michael saw him again he'd show him how much of a monster he could be.

"We're almost back in Roswell," Kyle said, interrupting Michael's dark train of thought.

"We're almost back? I've been asleep for four hours?" Michael sat up a little more in his seat, still being careful not to wake Alex; who worryingly had also been asleep for four hours.

Kyle nodded in the front, catching Michael's eye in the mirror. "Yep, guessing bring someone back from the brink of death can really take it out of you." The comment was meant to be casual and humorous, but Michael could see through it. The way Kyle's voice hitched on the word death, and his eyes glazed over. Michael wasn't the only one that had nearly watched Alex die this evening.

"I didn't even fully heal him," Michael said, looking down at the dark strain on Alex's shirt, having to look away after a few seconds. Kyle briefly turned around in his seat, catching Michael's eye,

"You saved his life, Michael," Kyle turned back around, taking a deep breath, "He'll need stitches and some rest for the other injuries, but he's going to be okay." It was more of a reassuring statement to himself than to Michael, and he understood, having done the same thing since they'd gotten in the car. They spent the rest of the journey in silence, the exhaustion and reality of the situation settling over them. It was almost like a heavyweight had been lifted; they had Alex back, yet another had been added; they'd watched him almost die. The entire situation leaving both men drained.

Eventually, they pulled up to the hospital, Kyle coming to a gentle stop. Michael looked over at Alex, his head still on his shoulder. Michael carefully moved his body slightly. "Hey, Alex, wake up," Michael lightly said, not wanting to startle him. Alex made no movement. Michael turned slightly, reaching his arm out to tap Alex's shoulder, "Alex, we're at the hospital," Michael spoke a little louder this time. Alex moved a little, then violently wrenched away from Michael, "Hey, hey it's me, it's Michael," Michael calmed, trying his best to not touch Alex, holding his hands out in reassurance. Alex's eyes flew around the car before landing on Michael, his breath heavy. "You're safe, we're back in Roswell," Michael said, nodding to the hospital sign outside. Alex carefully turned to look at the sign, noticing Kyle standing outside.

"Sorry," He sighed, sitting back in his seat.

"It's alright," Michael assured. Kyle came to Alex's side of the car, pulling open the door slowly.

"Hey man," Kyle said, a small smile on his face, clearly relieved to see his friend awake and talking. "Before we go in, I grabbed this from the boot, to cover the handprint," Kyle was holding a large bandage, he reached forward into the car, carefully taping the bandage over the handprint. Alex gave Michael a finale nod before slipping out of the car towards Kyle, grimacing as he went. Michael followed behind, grabbing the truck door when he found his legs weren't as stable as he thought they would have been. Michael blinked a few times, a wave of sickness coursing through him.

"Michael, are you okay?" He heard Alex ask. Michael looked up to see a frowning Alex being supported by Kyle.

"I'm fine, just been sat down too long," Michael lied, Kyle, giving him a disapproving look. Michael took a breath and started walking towards the pair. They walk through the front doors of the hospital, sat on a row of chairs was the rest of the group, looking up when they entered. Liz and Maria shot up, rushing towards Kyle and Alex.

"Alex!" Liz called, coming to a halt in front of him when she noticed the blood on her shirt, "Oh Dios mío," Liz muttered under her breath.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Alex said, a slight smile growing on his face. Both the girls stood there, their hands clasped in front of them like they wanted to reach out, but we're scared to do so. Maria walked forward lightly, placing her hands on the side of Alex's face, "I'm glad you're okay," She smiled, standing back to let Liz step forward, her eyes watery. She carefully reached up and gave Alex a one-armed hug, avoiding his injured shoulder.

"Thank you for being okay." She whispered.

A nurse started to walked over to the group, Kyle gave her a nod. "Alright, let's get you seen to," Kyle said. The girls stepped back, their arms interlocked. Alex gave them a small smile, turning to look at Michael, who was still stood next to him. "Once we've got you checked out then I'll come get you guys, it shouldn't be too long," Kyle said, choosing to look at Michael as he spoke. Michael gave a small nod, giving Alex an apprehensive smile. The nurse, Alex and Kyle started to walk away from the room, down the fall. Michael felt the tension reappear in his body as Alex disappeared out of sight. Michael suddenly felt someone hugging him; Isobel. Michael gave a small relieved sigh, wrapping his arms around his sister. After a moment they parted, Max appeared, slapping Michael on the shoulder and pulling him into a tight hug. For a moment Michael was taken aback, but then he returned the hug, patting Max on the back. They parted, the group standing around in a small circle. Suddenly the group's relieved face changed to that of worry.

Isobel reached forward and grabbed Michaels's hands. "Oh my god are you hurt?" Michael looked down it was then he noticed that his hands were bleached red, the blood dried. Michael suddenly felt his knees go weak, a surge of sickness shook him. Michael pulled his hands from Isobel and shoved them into his pocket, not wanting to look at them.

"No, no it's uhh Alex's blood," Michael said.

"What happened?" Maria asked.

"Jesse shot him in the stomach," Michael said through gritted teeth.

"How is he alive?" Isobel asked.

Michael looked around, stepping a little closer to the group, his voice hushed. "I healed him,"

Everyone looked around, also standing a little closer. "What?" Max asked, his face covered in confusion.

"Since when did you master that little trick?" Isobel asked.

Michael sighed, shaking his head, looking down at the floor. "I dunno, we were out in the desert and he was...bleeding out in front of me and-and I didn't know what to do and then," Michael drifted, trying not to think too much about what happened.

"How are you walking? When I healed Liz it damn near killed me?" Max said a concerned looked for his brother.

"I didn't completely heal him, just partly," Michael corrected, feeling a wave of sickness roll through from again.

"How is that possible?" Maria asked.

Liz stepped forward, a pointed look on her face. "That actually makes sense," Michael looked towards his siblings, all of them then turning to Liz. "I've been thinking, you guys all have different powers but I think healing is something universal, it just has to be unlocked."

"Unlocked?" Isobel asked.

"Max said he'd only been able to heal people yet when I was shot he brought me back, I think intense emotion releases some sort of energy which allows you to heal someone?" The group all turned to Michael. H

Max nodded, walking towards Michael, "We should get you some acetone," Michael gave a small nod, both of the men heading out towards the parking lot, Max paused for a moment, "What happened to Valenti's car?" Michael looked over to where Max was nodding towards, Valenti's car had all the window blown out, scratches across the hood.

"I think that happened when I healed Alex," Michael said he'd fix that later once this was all over.

The pair walked over to Max's truck, he popped the boot and opened a bag, grabbing a couple of bottles of acetone and passing them to Michael, both men leaning on the boot of the car. Michael drowned a couple of bottles, feeling his body start to heal and regain his energy. "How are you feeling?" Max asked.

"Better," Michael said, finishing the last bottle. Max took the empty bottles and opened the boot again, throwing them in. He reached in and grabbed a bottle of water and a cloth, dosing the cloth in the water, passing it to Michael.

"Here," Max said, passing it over to Michael.

Michael took the cloth and wiped his hands, finally getting rid of the blood that was staining his hands. Michael roughly cleared the blood, giving the soaked cloth back to Max. "Thanks," he said.

"You wanna talk about it?" Max said, leaning against the boot again.

"'Bout what?" Michael said, wanting to get back to the hospital feeling uneasy being so far from Alex.

"What happened there?" Max said, still not moving.

"There's not much to say," Michael said, not looking at his brother.

Max pushed himself off the car and walked towards his brother, "Michael, I know what it's like to almost lose someone in front of you," Max gave his brother a compassionate look, his eyes furrowed.

Michael kept his eyes on the ground, scuffing the rocks under his feet. He took a breath, biting his lower lip a little, "I found him locked in a room downstairs then on our way out Jesse found us, I tried to get him to let us leave but then..." Michael paused, he'd been trying to push that thought to the back of his mind, not wanting to think about it, but at this moment the memory was ripped forward, he squeezed his eyes shut hoping it would go away, but it didn't. Michael finally looked up, pass his brother, "Alex pushed me out the way and got shot," Michael walked back to the car, leaning on the boot, he shook his head. "He was just lying there on the ground covered in blood and...there was nothing I could do," Michael chocked, his hands trembling slightly in his pocket. He looked over at Max, who had a soft look on his face, "He was willing to die to keep us safe," Michael said, "And I almost gave up on him," Michael admitted, guilt making its way throughout his body.

"But you didn't," Max said, pushing himself off the truck, walking back to the hospital with Michael. Once they got inside the group was still sat in the waiting room. Michael and Max walked over to them, taking a seat. Liz rested her head on Max's shoulder, Max planting a kiss on her forehead. Michael leaned back on his chair, looking up at the roof.

The group sat there for a while, no one saying anything all just waiting for Kyle to reappear with news about Alex. Finally Kyle reappeared around the corner, wiping his forehead. Michael shot up in his chair, walking towards Kyle. As he got closer he noticed the stern look on his face, Michael felt a wave of coldness run over him.

"How is he?" Liz asked.

Kyle breathed out, crossing his arms. Michael felt his heart sink; something was wrong.

"He's got a handful of broken ribs, a puncture wound in his shoulder that needed stitches, and then bruises; lots of them." Kyle looked away for a moment, the look on his face wasn't dread; but rage. Michael felt fury start to settle over him, hearing what Jesse had done to Alex causing everyone in the group to shake their head, cursing under their breath.

"And the bullet wound?" Max asked.

Kyle uncrossed his arms, "You managed to heal everything internally so I just stitched up the wound, there's bruising but he'll be fine,"

"Can we see him?" Maria asked, a small pleading smile on her face.

"Yeah, he's on a lot of medicine for the pain so I don't know how long he'll be awake for," Kyle said, walking down the hallway to where Alex was.

Kyle opened the door, the group filing in, Michael leading the rear. Alex was lead in the bed, a clean hospital shirt on, his face cleaned of blood and dirt. Maria and Liz walked over to one side of Alex, Isobel and Max standing at the foot of the bed. Michael came to the opposite side of the girls, sitting down in a chair. "Hey," Maria said, reaching out and placing her hand over his,

"You're looking better," Liz said that signature wide smile on her face.

"I feel better thanks," Alex said, his voice strained. "Do I have to stay the night Kyle, I'm fine." Alex sighed,

Kyle shook his head, "You're not fine, you need rest and If I let you go we all know you aren't going to do that," Alex let his head fall back against the pillow, his eyes quickly looking over at Michael before back to the rest of the group. Alex shifted in the bed, wincing and gasping slightly as he did. Kyle walked over to Alex, a concerned look on his face.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Alex breathed, holding his hand up.

Kyle looked around the group, "Okay maybe we should let you get some rest," Kyle said, looking around the group. Liz and Maria smiled, standing up to give Alex a small hug before heading to the door. Isobel gave Alex a smile, Max giving a small nod before they walked towards the door. Kyle watched as most of the group departed. He turned to see Michael was still seated, his eyes never leaving Alex.

Michael felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Kyle standing there, "Sorry," Michael muttered going to stand up when Kyle patted his shoulder a little.

"I'm going to go check on some other patients, I'll probably be about 20 minutes," He said, nodding his head giving a small smile. Michael slowly sat down back down in his chair, understanding what Kyle was saying. If someone had told Michael two days ago that he'd be thankful for Kyle he'd laugh in their face. Kyle left the room, shutting the door behind him.

There was silence for a moment as Michael watched Alex, "How are you feeling?" Alex asked, turning his head to look at Michael.

Michael nodded, "Max gave me some acetone so I'm good," He said, clasping his hands in front of him.

"You should rest," Alex said.

"I'm fine Alex," Michael huffed, Alex was the one lying in a hospital bed with a bullet hole in his stomach and a stab wound in his shoulder.

Alex sat up straighter in his chair, wincing. "No you're not, I can feel you're exhausted." He said, his head tilting to the side slightly.

Michael furrowed his brows before realisation hit him, "The handprint," Michael sighed, he completely forgot the handprint allowed Alex to feel an echo of what Michael was feeling. Michael sat up in his chair more trying his best to clear his mind and push down any thoughts and feelings he'd, "I'm just tired that's all," Michael said.

Michael leaned back in his chair, looking up at the roof. "You don't have you stay here," Alex said, reaching up to rub his shoulder.

"I know," Michael said, letting it hang in the air. "I want to." He admitted, not meeting Alex's eyes. "I still can't get the image of you bleeding out on the ground outta my mind," Michael breathed, his voice a little shaky.

Alex looked up from his lap, his brows furrowed. "Michael-"

"How could you be so stupid, Alex." Michael bites back, the anger starting to come over him and take control.

"I was trying to protect you guys-" Alex tried to defend, but Michael cut him off, standing from his chair, pushing it back a little.

"I don't want your protection Alex, I want you alive!" He yelled slightly, his arms thrown out to the side.

Alex leaned forward in his hospital bed a little, "I wanted you alive too and if my dad got that file it-"

"We could of help!" Michael shouted, shaking his head "Do you have any idea what would have happened if I couldn't have healed you," Michael paced on his feet slightly, reaching up to pull the ends of his hair slightly. "You would have died Alex!" Michael cried, the admission almost breaking him, "Wha-what would I have..." The rest of the words got stuck in his throat, unable to finish the sentence. Michael stood there, breath heavy. Michael squeezed his eyes shut tight for a moment, throwing his arms out to the side. "Look you need rest okay, we'll talk tomorrow," Michael said, the exhaustion settling in again.

Michael looked over at Alex, the hurt look on his face causing Michael to quietly curse under his breath. Michael walked back over to the chair, slumping down. "You're staying?" Alex asked, generally confused.

For someone that could feel what Michael was feeling, somehow Alex was still clueless. Michael leaned forward on his chair slightly, "I'm not going anywhere Alex," Michael confessed, the pair looked at each other for a moment, both having so much more to say. Alex gave a small nod, leaning back in his bed. Michael shifted the chair bringing it as close to Alex's bed as he could. Jesse Manes was still out there somewhere and that thought played on Michael's mind. Michael closed his eyes, leaning back on the chair. He heard a noise from the bed, he opened his eyes to see that Alex had shifted closer to his side, his head resting right near the edge of the bed where Michael had his chair. Michael gave a fleeting smile, Alex was laying on his side, his hair had fallen in front of his face. Before he could stop himself Michael reached out brushed the hair from Alex's face, keeping his hand on Alex's face for a moment. "Don't make me lose you," Michael whispered, letting the walls down a little bit. Michael felt his eyes closing again, the effect of the acetone wearing off. Michael kept his hand on Alex, just needing to feel him next to him. There was still so much to say; why Alex did what he did, why didn't he ask for help but that could wait till tomorrow, for now, Alex was alive and safe and that was enough for Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, if you have any comments or feedback feel free to leave them below!💗
> 
> -AJ


	9. Lifetimes ago it was you. It's still you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex leaves the hospital going back to his house with Michael in charge of looking after him, leading to the pair to have a conversation about Alex's choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand I'm back! Thank you for all the support on this fic, sorry for taking a long break but I hope you guys like this new chapter and I'm hoping to get back into regular posting for it!
> 
> -AJ

Michael stirs, he briefly opens his eyes; the bright light causing him to blink a few times and turn his head away. Michael's moved his head, his neck twinging as he did. He looked over to his side, Alex was asleep next to him, his head still close to the edge of the bed. Michaels's hand had fallen from Alex's head, landing next to him. Sometime during the night, Alex's hand had landed on top of his, the warmth of his skin present. Michael needed to stand up, his legs aching and neck stiff. Despite the pain, he didn't move, just looked down at the sleeping Alex. The healthy colour had returned to his skin, no longer pale and cold. The cuts and bruises on his face were still red but no longer bleeding. Michael moved his hand slightly under Alex's, reaching his thumb up slightly to smooth Alex's hand. He heard the door open, Michael turned his head to see Kyle quietly slipping into the room.

"You're awake," Kyle said, closing the door behind him, approaching the end of Alex's bed.

Michael thought about pulling his hand away from Alex's, but then he just shifted in his seat, sitting up a bit more straight. "You let me stay?" Michael asked, giving Kyle a perplexed look. 

Kyle gave a small nod, walking over to the machine which Alex was attached to, checking them over. "Well, you looked like crap so I thought you should rest," He quipped, his eyes on the screens. Michael gave a small snort, "Plus after everything that went down yesterday..." Michael noticed that Kyle trailed off. His eyes were fixated on the IV bag but Michael could tell he wasn't looking at the bag, or even thinking about it. Kyle suddenly blinked, shaking his head. "...I thought leaving him alone wasn't the best idea." Kyle said, pulling his hands away from the bag, looking down at Alex.

Michael gave a small nod. There was still Jesse Manes to deal with, Michael hoped the man wasn't stupid enough to come after Alex again, but the hatred that man had seemed to have no ends. "Thank you," Michael sighed.

Kyle raised his eyebrow, "Wow, two thank you's from Michael Gurien in two days, it's a miracle," He said, walking back over to where Michael was seated.

Michael looked up at Kyle, his eyes squinted, a sarcastic smile on his face. "Well, you haven't been acting like a jackass of late so..." Michael trailed off, Kyle giving a laugh. Michael wouldn't go as far as to say he and Kyle were friends, the last two day was crazy but not that crazy. However, he could see why Alex had begun the forgive Kyle for his highschool dickishness. 

Alex rolled over in the bed, his hand sliding off Michael. Alex's eyes were moving rapidly under his eyes lid, his breath quickening. Kyle looked up at the heart rate machine, a panicked look on his face. Michael pushed himself up from the chair backing up as Kyle rushed over to Alex. "Alex, Alex, you're okay." He gently said. Michael felt his chest tightening, his hands clasped tight next to him. Alex sat up in the bed, panting heavily, his eyes wide with what Michael could only describe as pure fear. Kyle was stood in front of Alex, talking to him. Alex looked over and caught Michael's eye. Alex's face twisted from panic to a sense of calmness. Kyle backed away from the bed slightly, "You're okay man, you're in the hospital," Kyle said, taking a perched seat at the end of the hospital bed.

Alex nodded, looking around the room. Alex sat up straighter in the bed, wincing as he did. "Woahhh careful," Kyle said, walking back over to Alex, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Michael stopped the internal bleeding but the tissue around the wound is still damaged," Kyle continued. 

"So when can I leave?" Alex asked sitting a little more upright in the bed, a questioning look on his face.

Kyle shook his head, "Tomorrow, I still want to keep an eye on you."

Alex gave a small pout, "But I'm fine?" He asked.

Kyle thought for a moment, "I mean, yeah you're technically stable-"

Alex leaned forward a little towards Kyle, tilting his head to the side. "Look I get it but I'm okay, right now I'm just taking up a hospital bed, let me go home and I'll rest-."

"You and I know both know you will rest for about an hour and then you'll get bored," Kyle said, the frustration from Alex's protest clearly working him down. Michael thought about intervening, telling Alex to just accept the help and stay at the hospital but the look on Alex's face told him that wouldn't work. 

Alex's head fell back against the pillow for a second before he pulled it back up, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. "Kyle look, I just wanna go home-"

"Alex you almost died," Kyle said, his voice grave and stern, taking even Michael back. Kyle kept his eyes on Alex, "We watched you bleed out on the floor, can you just-" He took a breath, looking away from Alex, revealing to Michael his watery eyes, Kyle reached up and briefly swiped both his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, "-Just stay a little longer for me okay," Kyle and Alex looked at each other, Alex's serious face softened, but Michael could see the reluctance in his eyes still.

Michael stepped forward, his hands in his pocket, giving a small shrug, "I can take him back to his, keep an eye on him," Michael looked over at Alex, who was frowning at him, clearly not thrilled at the idea of being taken care of. Michael could feel some frustration bubbling under him, how did Alex not understand how serious this situation was, how close he'd come to dying, how close Michael had come to losing him. For a moment Michael could have sworn he saw Alex's face soften again almost like he understood what Michael was thinking- _ dammit, the handprint, _ Michael took a breath, steadying his emotions and pulling them back under. "Make sure he doesn't do anything else stupid," Michael scoffed, trying to reassure Kyle.

"I don't need a babysitter-" Alex tried to say but Kyle cut him off.

"It's that or you stay here." Kyle sighed. The room fell silent, Alex looking between the pair, a hint of betrayal as the two previous foes were now ganging up on him. Alex gave a defeated sigh, nodding his head. Kyle patted his leg before standing up. "I'll go grab your prescription, It'll take a moment, then you can go," With that, he left the room.

Michael watched as Alex sat in the bed, absently looking up at the ceiling. Michael walked over, pulling the chair out and sitting down, facing Alex. "You should take it easy on him," Michael sighed, watching as the machines beeped.

Alex looked over at Michael, his eyebrows raised in shock. "You're looking out for Kyle?"

Michael leaned forward in his chair, bothered that Alex was about to make him defend Valenti. "He's just trying to look out for you," He sighed Michael watched as Alex breathed, a shaky breath. He gave a small nod.

"I know I just..." Alex seemed to stop himself, looking down at his hands, still red and raw from the previous days. "I hate hospitals." He admitted. Michael nodded, he wanted to ask more, something in Alex's voice telling him there was more than just the usual dislike for hospitals. Michael opened his mouth when the door opened and Kyle walked in, clearing his throat. 

"Antibiotics and pain killers," He said, holding some bags of medicines. He reached out to give them to Alex then pulled them back, holding his other hand up like a parent to a child. "Make sure you take them," He said.

Alex gave a small laugh, nodding his head. Kyle passed the bag over to Alex. "Thank you, Kyle, I mean it," Alex said, genuine appreciation clear in his voice.

Kyle seemed to appreciate this, reaching forward to give Alex's shoulder a small pat. "Just be careful." Alex nodded. "Alright let me get you ready to go," He said, turning to Michael, "We'll be a couple of minutes, we'll meet you in the waiting room. Michael gave a slight nod, heading out the door towards the waiting room. Michael headed towards the waiting room when it hit him; he didn't have his car. Michael cursed under his breath, pulling his phone out of his pocket and calling Isabel, maybe he could ask her to get Max to drop it off for him. The phone rang for a moment before Isabel answered. "How you feeling?" she said before Michael could even speak. 

Michael slumped down in one of the plastic chairs. "Uhh better thanks, good." He said.

"And Alex?" She continued.

Michael reached up and rubbed his face, still feeling drained. "He's good, actually Kyle is about to discharge him, I said I'd drop him back to his but I just realised I don't have my truck-"

"Max brought it to the hospital this morning." Isabel interrupted. Michael didn't say anything, taken aback by what his sister had said. "We guessed that Alex wouldn't be driving himself home and that you'd need a way to get back so Max dropped it off, he left your keys with reception." Michael looked up at the man at reception. 

Michael smiled even though she couldn't see. "Thank you, Isabel," He said with earnest. Michael quickly walked up to the desk, telling the receptionist his name, slipping the keys into his pocket once he'd handed them over. Then on the line, Isobel speaking. "Also we cleaned Alex's house, restored some order" Before Michael could thank her she continued, "Also his house is amazing, why you hang out in that dusty air streamer of yours when you could there is beyond me!" She scoffed, poking fun at her brother. 

Michael grinned the familiar sibling banter a nice break from the madness that had been the last few days.

"Thank Iz," Michael said, he looked up to see Kyle coming down the hall, pushing a clearly irritated Alex down the hall in a wheelchair. "We'll talk later," Michael said, again thanking his sister before hanging up. Kyle stopped in front of Michael. Almost as soon as the chair stopped Alex started to push himself up, swatting away Kyle's helping hand. Once he managed to stand Alex took some breaths, clutching the pills Kyle gave him. Kyle gave Alex a nod and light tap on the shoulder before heading back down the hallway. Alex started to walk forward, stopping and grimacing. He reached down and rubbed his leg, right where the prosthetic met his leg. Michael wanted to ask if he needed help but he knew what the answer would be. Alex straightened himself up and the pair walked out of the hospital.

The drive back was quick, it had been the first time in the last two days when Michael wasn't driving with a sense of impending doom. Alex was quite the drive back, looking out the window, wincing every now and again. They pulled up at the house, Michael turning the keys off.

"You don't have to stay you know, I'll be fine," Alex said, 

Michael looked over at Alex, the bruises on his face prominent, "I promised Valenti I'd keep you outta trouble," Michael said, opening the door and jumping out of the truck, walking over to Alex's side. He pulled the door open, leaning his arm against the top of the window.

"How much trouble can I get into in my house?" Alex said, slowly getting out of the car, holding onto his leg as he did. 

Michael stepped back giving Alex some room, "Your right, it's not like you've pissed off an entire covert branch of the military?" He sarcastically said. Alex headed towards the house, clearly ignoring Michael's comment. Alex opened the door, gingerly walking down the hall, Michael in tow. Alex looked around the place, clearly noticing that things were different. "The girls tided your place up, guessing Jesse was looking for the file here," Michael said, hovering around the living room, still unsure what to do. 

Alex walked over to the sofa, lowering himself down. Alex reached down to his leg, rolling up the grey joggers the hospital had given him. Alex carefully took his prosthetic off, leaning it against the table, hissing as he rubbed the end. "Don't normally wear it for two days straight," Alex said through partly clenched teeth, the pain still clearly there. Michael walked over to the chair opposite the sofa, taking a seat. Alex swiftly tied up the bottom of the joggers, clearly having done this plenty of times. Alex sat back in his chair, taking a relieved breath. "What happened to him?" Alex said, "My dad, I remember seeing him with the gun and then its all kinda blurry." Alex sighed.

Michael fidgetted in his seat, clasping his hands in front of him. "I had him held against the wall," He said in a low tone, not looking at Alex. He kept his eyes to the ground, "I was going to kill him," he admitted. He could feel the ferocity growing within him again, a hint of shame coming over him as he admitted it. Jesse Manes was a monster but he never wanted Alex to see him as someone who killed others, never wanted him to see him as a monster. He eventually pulled his eyes from the ground back to Alex; no animosity or hatred in his eyes. Michael took a breath, "Then I saw you, saw you were hurt, I threw him to the other side, knocked him unconscious," Michael wasn't sure what happened to Jesse after that, part of him was worried that he'd done more damage, another part of him had hoped he had. "We thought we heard reinforcements so after you were healed we got you out of there, I left him behind-"

Alex held out his hand, stopping Michael in his tracks "It's okay Michael," He said, a faint smile on his face. He motioned to the covered-up handprint on his chest. Alex carefully pulled the bandage back, no longer needing to hide it. 

Michael felt a wave of emotion wash over him. He'd seen this handprint before, Max had done it to both Liz and Rosa. This was the first time he'd ever seen one of his own doing. "It's faint, it should go in a few days," He said, since he didn't resurrect Alex it wasn't as strong so shouldn't last as long. 

Alex gave a small shrug, the faint smile still on his face. "I dunno, I quite like it," Michael tilted his head, giving a small playful pout, "Being able to read the enigma that is Micael Gurien," Alex gave a small chuckle. Michael felt some anxiousness come over him, he barley could understand his own thoughts and feelings half the time he couldn't imagine what Alex would make of them or even what they would be. "Don't worry, I'm not prying," He said.

"So do you think your dad will come back for the file?" Michael asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Michael had tried not to ask that question but it had managed to work its way to to the front of his mind. Alex seemed to think for a moment, running his hand through his hair. 

"No, no I don't think he'd risk it," Alex sighed. Michael nodded, feeling a small sense of relief wash over him, however, when Michael looked up at Alex that small relief disappeared, a stony look on his face. "Plus if he shot me he probably thinks I'm in hospital or dead so I don't think he'll be rushing to find me," Michael felt his heart twist in his chest, his head ducking for a moment before he looked back up at Alex. Michael felt the rage for Jesse Manes flare again, he wondered if it would ever die down.

"It's okay," Alex said, a sad smile on his face, clearly picking up on Michaels feelings. 

Michael creased up his eyebrows, shaking his head. "No, it's not Alex," He asserted.

There was a pause, Alex kept his eyes down on the ground. "I always knew he hated me but uhhh-" Alex swallowed, his brows pulled together, his eyes cast down to the floor. "-I never thought he'd actually try and kill me," Michael hadn't regretted not killing Jesse; until this moment. "Guess that's my fault-"

"None of this is your fault," Michael interrupted. He took a deep breath, a shy smile on his face, one corner of his mouth pulled up to the side. "Believing people are good, that's just...who you are," It was what drew Michael to Alex, Michael had never believed in humanity, never thought they were worth the pain; until he'd met Alex

"Yeah, and I seem to be getting it wrong a lot lately." Alex breathed, he looked up at Michael, "I thought maybe there was a piece of my father that could...I don't know be changed," Alex gave a sad laugh, shaking his head. "I guess I was hoping my family could be redeemed,".

Michael thought for a moment, before standing up and walking next to Alex sitting by him. "Alex..." Michael stopped, he could tell Alex was hurting, badly. Alex had always known Jesse was a piece of shit but what had happened over the last two days was a fresh and new kind of betrayal, Michael needed to find the right words. "No one blames you for what your family has done, you aren't your dad."

"Aren't I?!" Alex asked, eventually looking up to reveal watery eyes. "I went to war, and blindly followed orders without even questioning if the people I were killing were even bad!" Alex gasped, just as Michael was, Alex was trying to keep a lid on his emotions, and just like Michael, he was failing.

"That's not that same," He said.

"Isn't it?" Alex asked, looking away from Michael down at his clenched hands. Alex went to speak but stopped, swaying his head, "I hate what my father did to your people, but am I really that different-"

Michael reached out and placed his hands on top of Alex's trembling ones, causing him to look back up at Michael. "Alex you are completely different from your father okay." Michael squeezed Alex's hands tighter, "You're kind and caring and are there for people even when they give you no good reason," Alex looked away from Michael, his eyes gazing at the ground, Michael tilted his head down to try and catch Alex's eyes but it was useless. "When we were at school, you gave me a place to stay, a home" Michael continued, trying everything to make Alex understand how he saw him, "And after you found out about us, you didn't join your dad in his intergalactic genocide, you didn't think we were evil or needed to be destroyed," Michael gave a soft sigh, he let go of Alex's hand, reaching up to gently tilt his chin up towards him. Alex reluctantly looked up from the ground to Michael's eyes. "You've helped us so many times, and have done everything you can to undo what your ancestors have done, no matter the cost," Michael kept his hands Alex's chin, keeping his eyes on Alex's watery one. Michael's other hand was still on top of Alex's, there constant trembling underneath causing him to not want to move them. Alex was looking at Micheal, clearly thinking everything over. 

Finally, Alex sighed, biting his lower lip for a moment. "It doesn't feel like enough," He shakily whispered. 

"Getting yourself killed isn't going to help or change anything," Michael said. Alex leaned back in the chair, taking his hands with him, Michael's hand fell from Alex's chin, meeting his other hand to fall onto Alex's knee. His hands feeling colder without Alex's touch "Why didn't you let us help?" Michael begged, the question being an constant ich in his mind since he'd realised Alex's plan.

Alex ran his hands down his face, the raw marks on his wrist a stark contrast to his face, "If you guys helped someone could have got hurt-" Alex tried to explain but Michael just shook his head.

"Someone did get hurt, you got hurt, Alex!" Michael cried. Michael took a steady breath, trying to calm himself. Alex was looking away from him. Michael watched Alex's face, waiting for Alex to say something but he didn't. Michael felt sick in the pit of his stomach, like someone had dropped his body into frozen water as the realisation washed over him.. "You don't care you got hurt?" Michael asked, already knowing the answer. Michael considered himself smart, strike that, Michael knew he was a genius yet he could not work out how Alex could care so little about himself when that was all Michael cared about. Michael stood from his seat, walking away from Alex for a moment before turning around to face him. Michael opened his mouth, all the anger in him telling him to yell but he didn't, instead, he looked at Alex's heavy eyes looking up at him. "I'm sorry," Michael finally said.

Alex frowned, shaking his head, "Why are you apologising," he quietly asked, sounding tired already.

Michael took a breath, trying to calm the storm that was currently building in his chest. "After everything that happened in Caulfield...I pushed you away and..." Michael choked on his words, unsure how to phrase what he meant. Michael took a nervous breath. "...Part of me blamed you for what your family had done, which wasn't fair," He said, making sure the last part was heard loud and clear. 

"Michael this isn't your fault," Alex sighed, leaning back on the sofa.

"And it's not yours either," Michael said back, "Sacrificing yourself to your father isn't going to change anything," 

Alex looked up to the ceiling, not saying anything for a moment. Michael heard as Alex let out a shaky breath, "Then what will?" his voice was quiet, sounding hoarse. He finally pulled his back down, a small tear tracking its way down his face, pausing on his jaw before failing. "What will fix this?" He asked, looking up at Michael. The air was silent for a moment, Michael walked over to Alex, sitting next to him.

Alex leaned his elbows on his thighs, rubbing his hands down his face seemingly not caring about the cuts and bruises. "I just...I just wanted to do something good and stop my father, put an end to this mess," Alex said, his voice getting quieter as he spoke.

Michael watched as Alex stared off into the distant. Michael wanted to reach out and take his hand, to just feel him but Michael stopped himself, clasping his hands on his own lap. "And we will, I know we will," Michael said, his voice sounding strong and sure. Michael tried his best to believe it, he was still aware that Alex could feel his emotions and if Michael didn't believe what he was saying; neither would Alex. Alex turned his head to look at Michael, his eyes almost pleading with Michael that he was telling the truth. Michael unclenched his hand and reached out, taking Alex's hand in his, encasing it. "But we'll do it together," He said, pushing a reassuring smile on his face. Alex took in a breath, smiling back at Michael, not quite reaching his eyes but it was a start. Michael squeezed Alex's hand carefully, making sure not to hurt him. "So no more of this 'Max's Evan' style self-sacrificing crap okay?" He joked. Michael was trying to lighten the mood, but deep down he knew it wasn't a joke. Alex looked up at Michael and once their eyes locked, Alex seemed to understand as well. He gave Michael a comforting smile, and this time it reached his eyes.

"Okay," He said, the strongest his voice had sounded all evening. 

Michael let some of the tension drain from his shoulders, as he and Alex just sat together, hands and smiles locked. Michael knew their problems weren't gone; Jesse was still out there, and this conversation wouldn't fix Alex's self-sacrificing nature but it was a start, something they could build off of. Michael leant back against the sofa, feeling his own energy-depleting but he was here to look after Alex, not rest. Michael went to move forward when he felt Alex's head on his shoulder. Michael's enter body froze, even his breathing. 

"You should eat something," Michael all but gasped, his breath just returning to him,

"I'm not hungry," Alex whispered, "Plus you're tired," Alex said. Michael went to protest when Alex stopped him, "Handprint, remember?" Michael cursed in his head, knowing there was no point in denying it. Michael glanced his eyes down at Alex, his eyes were closed and his hand still was holding Michael's. Michael opened his mouth to speak but once again Alex beat him to it, "Can we just...just sit here for a while," Alex asked, his voice drifting off as he spoke. Part of Michael felt like he should protest, get Alex to eat something but another part just wanted to be close to Alex, for them to finally have a moment of peace together. Michael shifted closer to Alex, "Okay," Michael breathed. He felt Alex relaxed next to him, his breathing evening out as he started to sleep, "'M glad you're here" Alex murmured from Michael's shoulder.

Michael let out a breath, "So am I," Michael confessed. Michael looked down at Alex who was now deeply asleep. Michael thought about moving to make food, certain that Alex wouldn't notice, instead, Michael rested his head against Alex's head, closing his eyes. Maybe they could just sit here together for a while or maybe forever, if Michael was honest, forever sounded pretty good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, I hope you enjoyed, more fluff to come after the angst we've had so look forward to that! 💗💗


	10. A real connection never dies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael continue to talk about what happened and Michael deals with his guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with another chapter! We see a shift in the pair's relationship here and we will continue to explore that in the next chapter, hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> -aj

Alex's eyes flew open, frantically looking around the room he was in; no metal walls and floors, no rigid chair. Alex felt his heart still beating frantically in his chest. Alex looked down at his hand; no cuffs around his wrist or his feet; he was free, he was safe. 

His hand was entwined with Micheals. Alex glanced his head up to see Michael asleep next to him, Alex gave a soft smile. Alex closed his eyes for a second, his breathing evening out and settling. Alex looked over at the clock on the wall, they'd been asleep for a few hours. Somehow, Alex still felt tired, his whole body aching. He shifted on the sofa, his shoulder throbbing. Alex felt his stomach growl, the hunger within him making itself known. However, as Alex thought about food his stomach churning with sickness. Alex had been here before, back when he was in the airforce, his whole body would be aching with pain, feeling exhausted but whenever he thought about eating his stomach would churn and twist; the effects of medication and stress he'd been told. Alex looked down at Michael who had not moved since Alex had awoken. 

He carefully took his hand from Michael’s already missing his touch. Alex ran a hand through his hair, then down his face. The white bandages around his wrist stared back up at Alex, a stark reminder of the injuries that covered his body.

Not that he needed reminding, he was reminded every time he moved and breathed. Alex pulled himself to the edge of the sofa, grabbing his prosthetic. Alex spent a few minutes attaching it, his movements slower than usual. After he finished he took a few breathes, the action having depleted some of his energy. Alex hated feeling like this, like he was weak and unable to protect himself. Alex pulled himself to the edge of the sofa, bracing himself for the pain that was about to come. Alex pulled himself up, cursing himself that he didn't grab his crutches before passing out. Alex carefully started to head towards his room, careful not to wake Guerin. 

He carefully closed the door behind him, he thought about sitting down on the bed for a moment, but then Alex realised if he sat down, he might not get back up. Alex made it to his cupboard, grabbing some grey sweats and a dark red pull-over hoodie. After he got changed, he grabbed one of his crutches and went into his bathroom. It was the first time Alex had looked in the mirror since being released. Alex's face looked pale, small nicks and cuts littered the entirety of his face, as well as some larger bruises. Alex had dark deep bags under his eyes, he reached down and moved his shirt, looking where the bullet hole was, it looked like nothing more than a scratch now. Alex braced himself on the edge of the sink taking some deep breaths, he turned the tap on and splashed some water on his face, not that it would change anything. Alex felt an abrupt surge of fear run through him, causing him to bolt upright, another wave of terror crashed over him; intense and loud. Alex's chest tightened and his breathing quickened. 

"Alex?!" Michael yelled from the living room.

Alex staggered back from the sink and walked to his main bedroom door swinging it open, "Michael?" Alex called back.

Michael appeared in the hallway, his eyes wide. As soon as Michael looked at Alex, the panic and terror started to drain away from Alex, being replaced by relief and...guilt? The feeling was faint but there and the more Alex focused on it the more he could feel it. "I was just getting changed," Alex said, nodding his head back towards his room, Michael just nodded and the guilt crept further into Alex's chest, "You okay?" Alex asked, with furrowed brows, stepping out into the hallway. 

Whatever Alex had been feeling was ripped away, t _ hat had been Michael's feelings.  _

Michael swallowed, nodding, __ "Yeah, yeah was just wondering where you got to," __ He breathed, the relief clear in his voice. Alex's breathing went back to normal his feelings returning to his own. Alex started to walk back into the living room,  _ why had Michael felt guilt? _

The pair entered the living room again, Michael slumping down onto the sofa, "I didn't mean to wake you," Alex said, sitting in the chair opposite. Alex had thought about sitting next to Michael, remembering how it felt to be next to him, to hold his hand. The pair had managed to start to rebuild their friendship over the past few months, but over the last few days, Alex had found they were trailing that familiar line of uncertainty. A line that had always been blurry between the two, a line in which Alex did know which side he sat on.

Michael leaned back in the chair, "No it's fine, I'm fine," Alex nodded, Michael nodded his head towards Alex, "How about you?" He said, seemingly examining Alex's body with his eyes. Alex felt his face growing warmer, he shifted on his seat, his hands clasped in front of him. 

"Fine," Alex said, looking down at his hands. He didn't have to look up to see that Michael was staring at him, his eyes burrowing into Alex's face. He finally looked up to see Michael raising his eyebrows at Alex, his head cocked to the side, "It's nothing I haven't experienced before," Alex sighed, not wanting to talk about this subject anymore.

Michael narrowed his eyes at Alex, crossing his arms over his chest, "You've experienced being kidnapped for information and held in a disused Alien torture prison?" Michael said, clearly joking and trying to lighten the mood. 

For Alex it did the opposite, he cast his eyes down to the ground, "Not exactly that but..." Alex trailed off, letting out a puff of air. Alex tried to ignore as the memories started to push their way to the surface, like someone constantly banging on a door.

"You never talk about your time in the airforce," Michael continued, his voice hushed. 

Alex bit the inside of his cheek, "Not much to tell," he quietly said, wishing he didn't feel so weak so he could move from the room and this conversation.

"I'm sure that's not true," Michael said. Alex looked up from the ground to Michael still looking at him, a small soft smile on his face, "You're a hero," he said, and despite everything the military had done to Michael, to his family, he could tell he was sincere. Alex was glad that the handprint didn't work two ways because if it did he was sure Michael would be suffocated by Alex's guilt. Alex pushed himself up off the chair, needing some space from Michael and his questioning eyes. 

Alex walked towards the kitchen, unsure what his plan was. "You know I'm feeling better, you don't have to stick around if you wanna go home and get some real rest," Alex said, leaning against the countertop and starting to make coffee, not even sure he wanted it but needing to do something. Alex felt the shame crawl up his back, he had told himself he'd stop pushing Michael away, but here he was doing it again. 

"Valenti would kick my ass; well he'd try and fail, if he knew I left you alone," Michael joked, and Alex could hear him stand from the sofa, walking over to the kitchen where Alex was stood, "You want something to eat?" Michael asked, not waiting for an answer as he went over to the fridge, pulling it open and looking in.

"No, I'm fine," Alex sighed, the sickness from this morning still swimming around in his stomach.

Michael stood up and closed the fridge, leaning back against it, "When was the last time you ate?" he asked.

"I'm not hungry," Alex said, pouring himself a cup of coffee that he had no intention of drinking, just wanting to do something normal. 

Michael cocked his head to the side, "That's not what I asked," He said, raising his eyebrow.

"I had something at the hospital," Alex said, resting his forearms on the table.

Michael gave a scoff, "That doesn't count as food," He said. Michael walked and opened a cupboard, peering in, "How about..." The pulled cans and tubs out until he found something he was looking for, "Soup," He said, throwing a can up in the air and catching it. Michael placed it on the table and walked back over to the fridge, opening it and leaning down, pulling out an assortment of vegetables "You've got some vegetables I could add," Michael said, dumping them on the island and turning to look at Alex.

Alex raised his eyebrow, "Since when were you a chef,"

Michael gave a mock offended look, shaking his head as he moved to grab a knife and chopping board. "Ohh you don't remember my famous sandwichs I used to make when we were kids," Michael grinned, starting to cut an onion and carrot. 

Alex laughed, shaking his head "Oh god," Alex said, giving a playful grimace.

A tea towel hit Alex lightly on the chest as Michael threw it, "Hey!" He called, "You said you liked them," Michael said, smiling down as he continued to cut.

Alex slipped onto the stool next to him, his leg starting to ache again. Alex shrugged his shoulders a little, tracing the rim of the coffee cup with his finger. "I was a kid in love, I just went along with it, I admired the effort." Alex smiled. Alex heard the steady sound of the chopping stop, he flicked his eyes up to see Michael just holding the knife over the carrot, an unreadable look on his face. But Alex didn't need to read Michael's face, the sadness that was resting heavily on his chest told him everything. Michael pushed the knife down and continued chopping, the sadness in Alex's chest dissolved, a slight nothingness settling over him. Alex knew he could just focus on Michael's feelings but he had promised he wouldn't pry so Alex just looked back down at his coffee, the pair falling into familiar silences.

After an hour or so Alex lifted the finale spoonful to his mouth, placing the spoon back down in the empty bowl. Alex hadn't realised how hungry he had been until he started eating. He pushed the bowl back into the middle of the table next to Michaels, who was still sat in his seat, sipping his coffee.

Michael looked up at Alex, noticing he had finished. Alex smiled, "It's better than the sandwich," Michael gave a small laugh, more of an exhale of air but one corner of his lip went up. Michael grabbed the bowls and walked over to the sink, placing them in, "Thank you," Alex said from his chair. Michael nodded from the sink and turned around grabbing his coffee "Thank you for saving me as well," Alex finished, feeling the need to tell Michael again. 

Michael froze for a moment, shaking his head a little as he slummed down on the sofa, "I didn't even know I was doing it," Michael casually said.

Alex pushed him up off the chair, his body twinging and aching as he walked over to where Michael was, taking the seat opposite him. 

Alex shook his head, "I don't just mean that, I mean looking for me to begin with," Alex said, looking down at his coffee, swinging the liquid around on his cup, "I know I didn't make it particularly easy for you but you didn't give up...so thank you," Alex sighed, biting his lip.

Michael was quiet for a moment, after a while Alex looked up, Michael was staring down at his own cup, "Don't mention it," He quietly said.

Alex felt the corners of his lips be pulled down, his eyebrows knitting together. Alex went to say something when guilt travelled down his body, settling in his chest and stomach, Alex flicked his eyes to Michael who hadn't moved or said anything. Alex closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating on Michael. The guilt in Alex's chest intensified almost choking on it. Alex opened his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Alex placed his coffee cup down on the table, clearing his throat, "Did something else happen?" Alex asked.

Michael looked up at Alex, "What do you mean?" He asked.

Alex shuffled on his seat, "I mean..." Alex swallowed, "This morning when you woke up I could sense guilt from you," Alex confessed. 

Michael visibly tensed up in his seat, averting his eyes from Alex, "I thought you weren't prying," Michael said, and Alex could hear the annoyance.

"And I'm not," Alex assured, waiting till Michael looked at him again to continue, "I guess when feelings are strong enough they just get through," Alex quietly said, "And when I just thanked you, I could feel it again," He said.

Michael gave a small nod, "It's nothing, just a stressful few days," Michael tried to advert.

"I agree but I don't understand how that would make you feel guilty," Alex said, leaning forward on his knees.

Michael gave a heavy sigh, swaying his head a little. Eventually, Michael reached up and ran his hand over his mouth before letting it fall onto the side of the chair, "Look we've already had this conversation, I felt bad about leaving your dad behind-"

Alex shook his head, "No this, this is different," Alex said.

Michael groaned, "Would you just drop it," He said.

Alex leaned closer to Michael, his elbows on his knees. "Yesterday you told me we were in this together?" Alex said, "Did you mean that?" he asked. 

Michael relaxed a little, "You know I did," Michael sighed.

"So talk to me," Alex said, "Like you said I showed you mine now you show me yours," Alex said with a small smile, throwing back to when Alex had first found out about the aliens.

Michael sighed again, sitting back against the chair. Michael reached up and ran his hand threw his hair. Alex waited as Michael shuffled in his chair, finally leaning forward on his knees like Alex. "After you called us, and didn't give us the code," Michael quietly said, "I didn't think we'd find you," Michael admitted and Alex could feel the sadness swell in his chest, followed by the now-familiar guilt. Michael stared down at the floor, "So I gave up," He said, his voice even quieter than before, the guilt in his chest reaching new heights.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean you 'gave up'?" Trying to work out what Michael could mean.

Michael breathed hard, "Kyle and I were at the bunker and I just..." Michael let out a shaky breath, pushing himself up off the chair, pacing on the spot behind the chair, "I didn't want to let myself believe we'd find you because if we didn't-" Michael stopped speaking, almost like what he was saying was too much to think about, he shook his head, clenching his jaw. "So I told myself we've never get you back, that Jesse had won." Michael answered, and Alex didn't miss the way Michael's jaw tensed harder when he said Jesse's name, "If Kyle hadn't have pushed me we never would have found you," Michael finished, his eyes on the ground. 

Alex watched as Michael turned from Alex, bracing his arms on the table, looking down at it. 

"It's okay, Michael." Alex softly said. 

Michael spun around, his eyes looking glassier, "I just told you that I stopped looking for you!" Michael loudly said.

Alex gave a sympathetic look, "You were afraid," Alex said.

"So was everyone else but they didn't give up!" Michael yelled and Alex could feel Michael's emotions and walls start to crumble.

"And neither did you," Alex assured,

"But I did-"

Alex pushed himself up off the chair, "Okay yeah maybe you did for a moment," Alex said, "But in the end, you were the one to work you the passcode," Alex started, "You were the one to get me out of that cell, that building," Michael looked away for a moment as Alex walked closer, "You're the one that saved my life," Alex finished, standing in front of Michael. "Look... we both made mistakes okay," Alex breathed, "Maybe you did give up," Alex lowered his head to meet Michael's eye line. "But I'm here now, and I'm okay," Alex said with a smile. Michael didn't move, his body still tense, his hands gripping the edge of the table hard, "What else?" Alex cautiously said. 

Michael paused for a second, turning around to face Alex, "You shouldn't have even been taken in the first place, I should have known something was wrong," Michael confessed. 

Alex felt his heartbreak for Michael, Alex reached out "Michael-" but Michael moved away, looking up at Alex with tears clinging to the waterline of his eye.

"I was at Wild Pony,  _ bitching _ to Maria about how distant and difficult you had been all week while your father had you beaten and locked up in some basement," Michael said, his voice wavering at the end. 

"You couldn't have known," Alex tried to reassure but Michael just shook his head, walking further away from Alex. 

Michael crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Alex with eyes that swam with pain. "The last thing I said to you, was a dig," Michael croaked, a tear finally tracking down his cheek, "Some snarky comment meant to hurt because I thought-" Michael tensed, "Because I thought you were pushing me away again" He finally confessed, "If I had just talked to you-"

Alex sighed, "It wouldn't have made a difference Michael, I-" Alex paused, trying to think of words that would stop Michael's heartbreak. "I wouldn't have changed my mind," Alex admitted.

Michael swung his head side to side, "That's not the point," Michael called, "The point is I didn't try," Michael painfully said.

Alex let out a shaking breath. He walked back over to the sofa, sitting down. Alex caught Michael's eye line, nodding to the chair opposite him. Michael hesitated for a moment, before coming to sit in the seat, "Look," Alex exhaled, "We've never been great at the whole communication thing," Alex admitted, "We're still learning," He said with a soft smile, "And trying," Alex finished. 

For a moment Alex thought he'd gotten through to Michael but Alex could still feel the pain in his own chest, mirroring how Michael felt. "That doesn't excuse me just giving up because things were tough," Michael said.

Alex wanted to reach across to Michael but the space between them was too great, "You said I need to forgive myself for the things I had done, the things my family had done and-" Alex let out a long breath, watching as Michael looked up at him, a pitying look on his face, "It's not easy, I still hate the pain I've caused," Alex winced as he thought about the pain he's caused over the year, during his time in the military. Alex swallowed hard, "But I'm trying to forgive myself," He admitted, knowing it wasn't going to be a quick fix but it was a start, "And so should you," He said, smiling at Michael.

Michael gave a soft nod, leaning back in his chair with a thud, "As you said...It's not that easy," He dejectedly said.

"Trust me, I know," Alex said.

Michael gave a short laugh. "Aren't we a pair," He said, looking up at Alex with a light smile. 

Alex laughed back, "We're trying, that's gotta count for something right," He said. Alex felt the guilt that had been in his chest lessen, it evaporating. Alex stirred in his chair, "I'm sorry I pushed you away, made you think I didn't want to be around you," He said, "You know that's not true right," Alex asked, needing Michael to know it wasn't true, in fact, it was the complete opposite.

"I thought after that night outside my trailer, you didn't want to speak anymore," Michael confessed. 

Alex felt his own shame return, twisting deep in his stomach "I shouldn't have hidden that piece from you," Alex said. His decision to not give Michael the console piece still weighed heavily on his chest and mind. Michael just gave a small nod, part agreement, part understanding. Alex let out a puff of air, "How's your ship looking now? Almost complete?" Alex asked, trying to return some normality to their conversation. Alex nearly laughed, talking about alien ships was now a 'normal' conversation between the two of them.

Michael didn't say anything, and for a moment Alex thought that maybe Michael was still understandably angry at Alex but then he spoke, "I haven't attached it," He said.

"What?" Alex exclaimed, "Why? I thought you wanted to leave," Alex asked, trying to sound neutral and not like the thought of Michael leaving the planet still haunted Alex.

"I did, but..." Michael trailed off, looking around the room for a brief while before looking at Alex, "...I don't want to anymore," He softly said.

"Why?" Alex asked, his breathing quickening.

"There's nothing out there for me, I wouldn't even know where to go," Michael admitted, rubbing the palm of his hand with his thumb, "My homes here, my family are here," He said, stopping before taking in a deep breath, his eyes focusing on Alex, "The people I love are here," He plainly said. The words hung in the air for a moment, both men just looking at one another. Alex wanted to pry, wanted to know what Michael meant,  _ what Michael really meant, _ but he didn't. Whatever Michael was feeling, while Alex desperately wanted to know, Michael would tell Alex when he was ready to. 

"Not to sound selfish but, I'm glad you're staying," Alex softly smiled. Michael looked up at Alex, the boys just gazing at each other. Alex was sure the line between them had all but vanished. Alex knew he should probably talk to Michael about it, but then maybe he was just reading to much into it, maybe they were  _ just friends?  _

Michael smiled back at Alex, his eyes trailing his face.

_ No, they weren't just friends. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy and hope to have the next chapter up soon!


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